Fate call
by Les milles et une nuits
Summary: Natsuki will receive a phone call that will change her life. OOC. (some strong language, incest)
1. Chapter 1

It's one of my French fics I simply translated in English. My English could be false with some mistakes and I apologies about that.

Disclaimer: Except that Mai hime belongs to Sunrise, there will be drama, hurt / comfort, Angst, and sometime the language is coarse.

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Chapter 01 my sister...

The vibrating noises which belonged to my phone on my nightstand had kept me away from my sleep. I tried to ignore the annoying sound, but I couldn't, it was too late. I was already awake ... to tell the truth; I felt like crap. I tried to open my eyelids which were heavy with some fatigue; next I turned on the side and I began to sigh when I looked attentively to the radio clock that showed in bright red light it was 5:00 am. Meanwhile I tried to catch the object of my awake on my bedside table; I was still lying lazily comfortable in my bed.

Who dared to call me this early? I scolded internally. With the device in my possession, I looked at the caller's name and I began to let go an oath. This call predicted nothing good.

''What!'' I replied abruptly in a husky voice laced with fatigue and anger.

''You are always so warm and friendly my dear Natsuki. It's too bad, you will certainly never change.'' An unpleasant voice replied me; I have preferred not to hear it so early in the morning. In bad mood, I removed the quilt that was above me and I left my bed to sit on the edge of it.

''You shut it! What's wrong with you! I probably don't have to ask this question because I don't care! Also I've always been like these during many years. Oh yeah, that true! You were not there during this time for reasons that you already know well. And also perhaps you don't know but it is 5:00 in the morning. So what do you want old hag!'' I said furiously meanwhile I rubbing my eyes and yawning again looking at the ground with misty eyes.

''Natsuki Kuga, how dare you! Pay more attention to your language! You! Insolent brat! You could be kinder toward your grandmother. You're always so rude. What a shame, you became with age more and more vulgar like that evil woman who knocked up by my poor son. But I perfectly understand your despicable behaviour with the mother that you had. In fact, I'm barely surprised by you I really have to do something about it before it was too late.''

''You're not going to do anything about it! And just to recall you, that vulgar evil woman who knocked up, it's was my fucking mother that you're talking about! So if it's only to insult her you dare to call me, I prefer to hang up now!''

''You have immediately stop it with your attitude, you owe me more respect. I am a member of your family whether you like it or not, it is me who raised you.''

''You deserve respect? You are my family? You raised me? Wow I'm shocked... What a bunch of bullshit! Now you are playing the sugar mammy. That's make me laugh so hard I nearly had some tears in my eyes…what a joke…really funny. Well, if it's to strengthen our so special relationship grandmother / granddaughter, you will probably have found someone else! I do not have time to waste and especially with somebody like you.''

''It seems you do not change with time; you are still unbearable and unpleasant. Some slaps are missing today!''

''Go on! I am not afraid of you! Not anymore! It's been six years that I have not heard news from you and I'm doing alright. So do not expect me to call you my ''beloved'' grandmother, it makes me sick just to say it.''

''And I absolutely do not want you to do it; I just want to talk about your sister that's all.'' I can hear in that moment my grandmother growled.

''Nina had problems?'' I asked worried.

''No not Nina, I meant your other sister, the illegitimate, which has dishonored and defiled my family.''

''My illegitimate sister? ... Who are you talking about? ... Oh ... you mean ... Alyssa?'' At this realisation, I felt my heart tighten abruptly, it was a very long time since I had news of her, and now I was getting by my grandmother. Something really bad had surely happened.

''Yes her, the rotten egg.'' The old woman answered coldly while I tried to not insult her again.

''She isn't a rotten egg! And her name is Alyssa Kuga!'' I replied irritated by the behavior of this harpy. That makes me remember the main reason I hate her so much.

''No need to play with words.''

_''You! Abominable person! I really want that you…arg!''_ I thought while I clenched hard my jaw.'' What's happened to Alyssa?''

''A week ago, she had a car accident with her husband.'' Replied my grandmother normally and without any emotion, it was as if she was telling me the time.

I started with difficulty digesting the information I had just learned. My sister had a car accident? She had a husband? But how long have they been married? Who was this man? What he looks like? Is this the main reason that she's fled her home? Probably not…

''Is it serious?'' I asked with some fear in my voice.

''Yes, she was seriously injured and was in a coma. As her husband; well he died when he has brought to the hospital.''

''What ... what happened?''

''Alyssa and her husband were returning from a wedding, they lost control of their vehicle and they hit into a tree.''

My hands began to shake, I passed one of them nervously through my hair trying to give me some strength, and then I finally took account of the tense had used the old woman.

''She was in a coma? So she survived the crash?'' I asked with a glimmer of hope even if I knew in my heart it was vain, but I had to ask this important question, whatever the answer this person would give me.

''... No, she died a few hours ago, she had important internal bleeding and doctors could do nothing to save her.''

I tried to remained calm but unfortunately tears began to beading slowly down my face. I squeezed hard my fist, my knuckles became white. The rage seized me uncontrollably and it devastated all my sanity.

''Why did you not warn me before she dies! She's no longer alive so you deign to tell me what happened? How generous! I'm surprised that you even thought to tell me; especially a person selfish of your kind who destroys completely her family for fun and they continue to suffer because of your existence. There were my mother, me and finally Alyssa.'' I shouted furiously.

''I did not call you to judge me and believe me it does not matter to me what you think as always; do you really think I wanted a family like that? You can not know how your mother and sister made me ashamed. They both lived in sin; you can really see who the mother of this brainless blonde; I'm sure she is in hell now. She repeated the same mistakes as her drag mother defiling the name of the Kuga and I hope that you'll not fall in love with a thug like your half-sister. Your father already brought us one brainless girl because he had made a terrible mistake to impregnate her! After that he could no longer escape to this leech. And besides, I was right! She is totally stupid, she could not even drive a car properly and it looks like it's genetic. As we say: Like mother, like daughter.''

''Enough witch! I swear if you continue to insult my family like that I will stop you! You have no right to criticize because a bitter old madwoman like you who has no life, do not grants you the right to judge others!'' I've spat angrily.

''Oh! What with that improper language! It's a shame! No this is simply blasphemy!''

''Oh come on; don't play this little miserable game with me! I could exactly say the same thing; you're not really as pure as the driven snow. You're simply an old hag with the heart that became completely dry, I'm not even sure you have one somewhere. And you're right about one thing, children are what they are made. Your son is really like you by the way, especially when he treats his proper family. It is true Alyssa and mother influenced me, and in good way. Because I am free now, I do not have anymore to obey to all your wishes to toe the line. I'm not your puppet anymore or your obedient soldier that you order to do this or that. I am proud to be like them than you or my pathetic father.''

''That's enough you cheeky! Your opinion has never interested me and it will certainly not change today! I just called to warn you that the funeral will happen the day after tomorrow, in the same cemetery where buried your whore of mother. Whether you come or not, it does not really matter me. I'm just doing the commission.''

''Soooo generous of you! The conversation is already over isn't it? I don't have to bear you anymore?'' I was no longer able to support this irritating conversion, I ended by hanging up my nose contact who I've heard virulent insults. Then I threw violently my phone on the bedside table. Both hands on my head, I looked at the ground and then I decided to get up, I could not in any way go back to sleep in the state where I was... It was impossible.

I walked to the bathroom, toward the sink. I rinsed my face thoroughly the clear cold water trying to get rid any signs of my sadness. Now I looked at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes were puffy with sadness, anger, misunderstanding and suffering. I wanted to destroy everything in front of me, screaming all my agony, I also want to cry but I can't...not anymore. Emotions are something that I can barely show it without using violence. And it's a bad idea I knew it, I will do something stupid. I had urgent need to go for a ride, but more importantly I had to leave home, the atmosphere simply suffocating me. I walked toward my closet, and I took some clothes, a black jeans and a simple t-shirt. Then I put my red and black motorcycle combination. Having finished to getting dressed, I headed to the door and I grabbed my key ring and motorcycle helmet.

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Do I have to continue the translation or your eyes are bleeding so much that you want me to stop?


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you to all those that reviewed, favored and/or are following. Also I have a beta Krout she did an excellent work, thanks to her if you have something more readable. This translation won't be exactly the same than my original story.

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Chapter 02 my past...

I thought that riding my Ducati would make my pain go away. But I realised it was a terrible mistake. I was wrong, so _wrong_ and it was awful. Why this kind of things always happened?

Was it fate? Or an unfortunate combination of fate? My tormenting questions found no answers.

What could I do? I am only human; I could also die anytime. Perhaps today, tomorrow or any other day. I couldn't control entirely my life.

That why it's precious for some people. But to tell the truth, I didn't give a damn about my existence.

I wanted the speed to get me out of those thoughts which alienated me. I was afraid to lose my mind or get in a crash. This pain in my heart… I was foolish enough to think it would never come back again. Losing something dear to me doesn't matter anymore. I was always alone…. I did not need anyone and nobody needed me.

But that's not entirely true. Even if I didn't know well my half-sister… she was still a part of my family.

But what's a family? I didn't know exactly the meaning of this word. Maybe it's someone who is related to you? Or a person who lives with you for most of your life? But I surely didn't think my grandmother as family. She was a total stranger to me, someone who I wanted to avoid like the plague. I was sure about one thing: my family was in no way conventional.

I looked attentively at the clock speed of my motorbike which was increasing dangerously 80 ... 95 ... 130 ... 150 mph.

Adrenaline made me speed up and then, times I started to remember the times I thought were forgotten. My first meeting with my older sister Alyssa.

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Flashback.

I was 8 years old and my sister was 18. I was 8 years old and my sister was 18. Alyssa and I were born ten years apart because we were half sisters. When she was born, my parents had not met yet and mom was pregnant with a man named Wang Sergay, if I remember correctly, he was a military man on shore leave for one day on Fuuka. They met at a party and spent the night together. The next day, the man left for a mission abroad. After this night, Saeko didn't receive any news from the soldier. He just disappeared as he appeared. Months passed rapidly and my mother discovered she was pregnant. She was shocked a first but decided to keep the baby and raise it alone, against her parents' disapproval who ended up throwing her out. A few years later, she met my father and they became a couple, my grandmother was furious when she learned about their relationship.

Her stepmother had never accepted her; she simply hated of the reasons being that she did not want this sinful woman spoiling her perfect family. My mother had had an illegitimate daughter, born out of the boundaries of marriage. But what bothered her the most is that Seako did not belong to a wealthy family. She was soiling her one and only son with the bastard child of a stupid military man.

Grandma never accepted Alyssa as a granddaughter. Everyday, she would make it clear that she and Saeko were not welcomed among them. Despite this, my father who was deeply in love with Mom adopted Alyssa and raised her like his own daughter. The couple married a few weeks later. Although that old hag did everything to stop the wedding. They finally settled on doing something  
simple with no witness or their family.

Shortly after the birth of my little sister Nina, I started to live with my grandmother when Dad left us after Mom's death. It was a car crash, a drunken man hit her as she was crossing the road. (I loathe cars. Those coffin on wheels are a curse to the Kuga's; first my mother and now Alyssa.) After this tragedy, the man was so upset and desperate that he left the house on that very same day without saying goodbye or giving us any explanation. I lost both of my parents that day. He is no more than a coward, an anonymous face I could meet on the streets for me.

I didn't know at the time that I had another sister, I had seen her a few times at home; it was vague, though, and I was  
not aware of our relationship. Being very young back then, I did not remember her. Every pictures, clothes or objects belonging to her had disappeared. It was as if she had never been real. But one day, we met, and not on the best circumstances.

-xox-

It was a morning like any other, I was heading to the kitchen when I heard a quarrel bursting in the office of my grandmother. Intrigued, I walked towards the sounds and peered through the door because I could clearly hear the stormy conversation.

''How many times did I tell you not to come here! You are no longer part of this family, or should I say… you never were in the first place. You denied our name when you got infatuated with that mindless idiot as pathetic as your father.''

''The man I love is nothing like a mindless idiot, Grandmother. You don't know anything about him.''

''And I would like it to remain this way. Don't you dare to call me Grandmother; You have lost this right a long time ago by disgracing your family and getting with him even though you were engaged to another man; a respectable one. What a waste.''

''Oh, you probably mean John Smith? He was twice if not more my age! I was only sixteen! How could you allow that old pervert to marry me?! This wedding was only to serve your business. You just want more and more money like it's never enough.  
What about my happiness? Have you ever thought about it?... You hate me. You made it clear all those horrible years,  
that's why you sent me away from here, isn't it?, because you did not bear to see me. ''

''No. I thought that sending you to a respectable school could get you back on the right path; that it could save you from your whore of a mother's influence. I was wrong, child. You are rotten to the core and we cannot do anything for you. You are doomed by damnation.''

''You are crazy! You will never change! Always the same story! My mother the whore! I could get you back on the right path! Save me from my whore mother's influence! Damnation! It's enough! I'm tired of being insulted! I'm tired of hearing you peak badly of my deceased mother. Don't you have anything else to do? You think that I don't know how you treated Mom and Dad? Because he couldn't stand you, and abandoned his family. And Mom ? You never loved her because she didn't suit your stupid requirements. You, to whom money is more important than anything. You will probably die with it.'' Alyssa yelled. Sachiko Kuga instantly slapped violently Her cheek, leaving it sore.

''I would advice you to go now, or I shall call the police.''

''I want to see my sisters! You have no right to keep them away from me! I will call a lawyer to have legally the right to see them and to take them with me!'' The blonde shouted angrily, banging her fists on the desk

''I forbid you to do it, you will regret it the rest of your life! You are not my granddaughter. You have never been. You're just a mistake, result of a sinful love! You do not have any rights! Laws are with me, I am their legal representative. You cannot do anything about it,'' her voice lowered, it was sneakier as she spoke again. "I would like to see you try and have your hopes crushed. Maybe then you will finally acknowledge that I can and _will_ destroy you without any remorse." There was a pause. "Now go away."

The blonde slammed the door as she stepped out of the office in tears. I hid myself out of panic when she saw me, clutched and frightened with a stuffed dog in my arms. She took me in her arms, smiling softly, I was surprised when I saw her crying. Her head buried itself in the crook of my neck somewhat hesitantly. She sniffed a little, giving me another smile.

''Hey there, my Natsuki."

''You know my name?" I blinked, squeezing the teddy bear closer to me.

''Yes, of course, and this plush is Duran.'' The blonde showed me her magnificent aquamarine were mesmerizing.

''You ... also know Duran?'' I asked shyly.

''Yes, this little guy belonged to me when I was a child. You really take good care of him. Even if he lost one eye.'' She laughed softly.

''It's… it's not my fault, I…" tears blurred my eyes as I stuttered.

''Shh… I know.'' She whispered tenderly. "It was me. Calm down, sweetheart," her embrace tightened around me.

''You ... you came here to take him?'' I asked worriedly, pushing Duran even closer to me. It made her smile again as she touched my face.

"No, don't worry it's totally yours, sister."

''Sister?''

''Ah, yes I forgot to introduce myself, I'm Alyssa, your older sister."

''I have an older sister? You are my sister like Nina? Really? I never knew. You're so beautiful, Will I become like you when I grow up?'' I asked, eyes staring curiously and mouth agape.

''No…I mean yes, I'm your sister and no you won't become like me but even more beautiful. Wow, you really look like her….'' She kissed my cheek softly and then she began to hiccups again against me.

''Her?''

''Our mother…do you remember her?''

''I… no. Not very well… sorry."

"Don't apologize; it's not your fault. Probably that despicable old woman is to blame. Always the same. I just want to protect you and Nina, so much… but I can't. She probably makes your life a living Hell. Just like me, before. Did she ground you, hit you or made your life miserable by telling you that you're stupid or pathetic.''

''I…''

''Of course she did. That evil bitch… Why did I even ask? Sorry Natsuki, I didn't want to use this kind of words.''

''…''

''Why are you crying? Because my grandmother slapped you?'' I stroked marked cheek with quivering fingers. The blonde took my hand in hers and kissed it gently.

"Don't worry... I'm not hurt, I'm just crying because I'm happy to see my cute little sister.'' These words made me flush in embarrassment.

''I ... I'm not cute and little.'' I added pouting.

''It's true; you're tall and simply adorable.'' My cheeks reddened again and I instantly lowered my head trying to hide it. It made my sister laugh hard.

''You shouldn't make fun of smaller than yourself! That's mean!'' Upset, I crossed my arms, pouting again.

''_So_ adorable!'' I gave her an annoyed glare and she coughed lightly.

''No. I mean… I'm sorry but… I can't lie! … You're so cute and adorable when you blush! I can't resist. I just want to eat you, especially those cute little cheeks! Red and round, like apples.

''Stop that! I need them. And I'm not edible! Also, I taste awful! You will be sick and have a stomach ache!'' I objected in fear while she tried with difficulty to contain her laughter.

''You make fun of me?'' I sniffed a bit depressed.

''No! Of course not. I'm just of one thing; I won't be the only one to think that you are cute. Oh my gosh! I want to hug you and never let you go. And you smell so good!'' I hid my reddening face with a toy which made the blonde laugh again. Suddenly the office door crafted. And my grandmother appeared. She was furious. I never saw her like this. She looked like a demon. I was afraid and my sister felt it when my body trembled furiously. The old woman grabbed me, her harshness making me wince in pain.

''How dare you! Go away now, you piece of trash!"

''I-I...'' My half-sister tried to talk to me but Sachiko stopped her with a glare. The blonde walked away…without a goodbye.

''Big Sister!'' I screamed desperate when she had crossed the threshold, crying even more.

My grandmother put me down, then gave me a violent slap, making me fall on the floor.

''I forbid you to call this vermin your sister! She is nothing like that! And don't ever approach her again!''

''Why? She is nice.'' I responded timidly.

''She is simply a bad lot! Go to your room immediately! You're grounded!"

''But ...''

"There are no buts! You are going to obey me or I will lock you all day and you'll have no meal if you continue!''

''I hate you!'' I yelled, eyes shimmering with tears.

''I don't care!'' I rushed to the first floor, climbing stairs rapidly to reach my room. I jumped on my bed, hiding under the blankets and cried myself to sleep.

End of flashback


	3. Chapter 3

First of all I'm sorry for the wait and grammar, also it's unbêtaed version. My bêta is MIA and I don't know when she returned. Merry Christmas and Happy new year^^.

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Chapter 03 our meeting...

I've never receive anymore news about my big sister since this disastrous meeting, who turned out the last one. Kind of depressing isn't it? It was the only one memory we share together. I've done all my possible to find her, but with no result.

It was as if she had disappeared from the surface of the earth, and over time, memories I had of her began slowly to fade away.

Even today, I had some difficult to remember features of her face, even her voice. The only thing I remembered was her long golden hair and her beautiful azure eyes. It was the same case with my other sister Nina, who lived again with my father. I think I was 17 years old when I fled from my grandmother's house since I have not seen her; she probably hate me when I let her alone with that despicable woman. But I had not any choice. I know...It was always the same pathetic excuse. My father said exactly the same words.

I just knew it I can not live any longer in this hell. It was a miracle I resisted during nine years; honestly, I thought I can lose at any moment my reason.

To become the heir of Kuga Industries, I have to act like a model girl with perfect appearance and behaviour (our family is very influential in the midst of beauty products, my grandmother is the owner of a large firm cosmetics, very influential in Japan and the rest of world), but of course everything has a price. Mine was my freedom. I was not allowed to go outside, only when I had to go to school and I had a driver assigned, watching every my movement under the orders of the old hag. He looked after me like I was a dangerous prisoner. I can't go anywhere except school.

My life essentially consisted to study; taking private piano, ballet dance and personable lessons. These times, I had no friends because I could never go out with them or simply go to their birthday parties. My grandmother said it was useless distractions and they could influence me by their immoral behavior and debauchery. According to her, these young people were outcasts, who are only drinking and having fun, and living off others. But what really annoyed the old hag was she did not want I become like my mother, she often says: ''On a night of debauchery that you want so much to take part; some unknown man make pregnant that stupid whore. Are you proud of?'' I could not stand anymore; I thought I was going to kill her. And I always want to do it.

To add more to my misery, I did not have the right to own television, mobile phone, radio, or something young people have because it is deafening. Of course the vicious woman chose books and encyclopaedias _._And when I unfortunately dared say something which did not pleased her, she locked me in my room all day and sometime night. Inside, there was simply a little bed.

Over years, my grandmother became harder with me because she did not bear to see me, probably because every day I looked like more and more to my mother and according the old woman it was her fault if her precious son left her house. I also decided I had to escape and I had to find my independence by seeking a job and found an apartment to finally live my life freely.

I sighed deeply in these memories which always were unpleasant to remind, I looked at the signs that indicating me the direction to Fuuka, it was at eleven hours of road from where I was. Being towards the place of burial, I thought it best that I go now; I shall call later my employer to say I would not go to work during two days.

* * *

The next day, I was in town, it's been a long time since I returned in Fuuka, last time was my mother's funeral. My sister also chose finished here, where our mother was born. I do not know why she did that. I don't want be there when I died. It was creepy. And I don't know if it's the same case with Alyssa's husband. Probably not.

I wonder what his looks like or should I say what he looked like. I do not know to whom I ask this kind of thing, too bad it doesn't matter anymore.

Tonight having no place to sleep, I settled down near a cliff until time passes, I lengthened on my motorcycle, contemplating attentively the sky, the wind began blowing a little more stronger making me go out of my pensiveness. I looked at my watch and saw it was half past eight in the morning; it was time for me to go buy flowers for my mother and sister at local florist.

I did not know exactly where to find the store, then I went through the neighbourhood, I finally saw what I looked for. At the store, I observed flowers and I took something simple; a bouquet of white iris the favourite one of my mother and carnations for my sister. Having my purchases in hand, I went out the store when suddenly I noticed front of a jar of orchid a girl with a magnificent beauty, she got ready to tear away the petals of flower. I do not know why but I intervened.

''You should not do that.'' What am I saying? It wasn't my business what she will do or not with this damn flower.

The stranger turned around towards me and I perceived a magnificent but unusual crimson irises, she also had a long amber color hair which were now twirling against the wind direction. She used graciously the hand to prevent her hair go in front of her face and began observing me with anger and astonishment. Holly crap! If a glance could kill I would be already died and buried.

''Ara, and in which concerns a total stranger what I do?'' She answered coolly. A smile sketched slowly on my lips, she was so funny…this girl looked like me a lot when I was young, I admitted I would have acted in the same way as her, if somebody had taken care of my business as I had just done with her. No, I would be harsher. I insulted or beat the person in question. I suppose it was a bad habit.

''What are you laughing at?'' She said furiously. Funny…she was interesting…not many people can make feel these kinds of feelings….

''Nothing really. Don't be paranoiac. I didn't do anything wrong.''

''Unlike me?'' She answered bitterly.

''I never said that.''

''So mind _your_own business!'' Oh so cold…I tried hard to not laugh, I think she will be furious.

''It's true that it isn't my business what you do, but one thing's for sure, even if you're angry or you're having some trouble, you should not damage this poor flower, I think it was not unable to hurt you. And _I_presumed without any petals, the florist as well his customers will be very displeased.''

''Yes…you probably right…'' I can see remorse in her rubies.

''It will be a waste to destroy them. Also I love orchids. These flowers are beautiful, isn't it?''

She looked at me perplex when I approached her and I contemplated attentively the object of her frustration. I suddenly had an idea. I went to the shop to see seller. The chestnut girl began to panic when the man looked at her direction and agreeing. She probably imagined I denounced her. But when she saw me arrived alone, she relaxed a little. I took the jar and began to smile when I gave her the orchids that I specially bought for her.

''Is it for me?'' She asked intriguing which made her cheeks the most delicate shade of pink.

''Yes, I suppose.'' I laughed lightly by her shy reaction which was totally different from her earlier suspicious reaction. Sometimes I have some weird ideas. ''You can do what you want with them. Keep them affectedly and take care or if you prefer you can throw them to garbage or tear away their petals. It's your choice now.''

''Why?''

''Why…what?''

''You give me these flowers.''

''I don't really know myself. I am asking the same question as yours.''

''I don't deserve them.''

''I don't know. That's will depend on you.''

''I will pay back the price.'' She insisted hastily looking at a purse in her hand bag. I touched lightly her arms and she stopped moving.

''No, don't worry about it. It's nothing. It's not expensive as a house, a car or jewels. And now it belongs to you.''

''Kannin…na…'' The girl whispered hugging protectively my present. Great, it's seemed she won't destroy them anymore.

''Never mind.'' What I have today? I was generous, talkative, smiling with someone I barely know. Generally I didn't have this behaviour. I've lost my mind or I was lacking of. Lucky her, she didn't see me in my awful mood. The girl caught me off guard and I saw a moment she was blushing intensively, maybe it was my imagination, but she looked away ill-at-ease.

''Shizuru'' ...'' She said facing me with a beautiful smile it took me by surprise. My heart began to throb wildly for unknown reason.

''What?''

''My name is Shizuru.''

''Ookay…'' Wow what a weird girl; first she barked ready to kill me for being intrusive and next she smiled politely as if nothing important had happened between us…she was a little bipolar…

''And yours?''

''Natsuki.''

''Na-tsu-ki… What a lovely name.'' When she pronounced my name, I felt my cheeks warming up and I tried to look nonchalantly on the side because I was totally embarrassed. The girl with blood eyes noticing my behavior laughed melodiously and I glare at her, but it had no effect on her, does my famous glance of death didn't work anymore?

''Ara Natsuki is really adorable when she blushes.'' What?!

''It's not true! I don't blush!'' In my biggest despair I doubled reddens. Why everyone tell me this bullshit? It was not true! I wasn't a little fluffy animal!

''Is Natsuki using this kind of method to seduce an innocent girl like me?''

''What?! Of course not! I do not hitting on you!'' I roared red peony. I do not hitting her, right?

''I see… you're not interested in me because I am ugly.'' She put her hands on her face, she began to cry. I can hear some sob escape in her mouth. Oh no, what I have done? I must absolutely do something to stop her crying. Think of something Kuga! Think! But I have nothing in my mind.

''It is not true, you are far from being ugly, it is even the opposite. You are beautiful and incredible eyes mesmerized me.'' Again, my cheeks heat up, I finally realizing what I had just said.

"Interesting to know. Very interesting.'' She laughed raising her hands showing she faked her cry; did she do it on purpose to compliment her? But what's wrong with her? I didn't know reason of her behaviour. Well it was not my place to say that, I just stick my nose in her business.

I heard a ringtone, it's belong of caramel haired beauty's phone who answered it, I was able to see the sadness on her face, then she looked at me again when she finished her call, which I must say was rather fast.

''Natsuki, can I ask you something?''

''Of course.''

''Do you by any chance…living here?'' She asked me hesitantly.

''No, why?''

''It's a pity; I really wanted to see you again.'' She answered sadly; her reaction perturbed me a bit. Why does she want so badly to see me again?

''Where do you live?''

''Uh ... Nagoya why?''

''Ara, I'm just a little curious that's all. I come from Kyoto.''

''I can understand your accent.''

''Mou…_sob_…my accent is…_sob_…awful?'' The brunette cried very upset. Oh no, you idiot! Why you make this poor girl cry.

''No! I didn't mean it that way. It has some charm.''

''Ara ara; my dear Na-tsu-ki. I knew you were trying to seduce me with all these flirting.'' Shizuru added smiling widely at me.

''What! Not again with that stupid thing! How many times do I have to say I do not hitting on you!'' I shouted blushing furiously I just realized, she completely deceived me in her trap by her teasing and taunting but mostly with her pretty and innocent face.

'' ... I'm sorry…it's just…I don't have… time…I really wish to have more. Well I gotta go, I have something very important to do, I'm glad I have been able to meet you. I hope we shall see again each other Na-tsu-ki.'' She added, looking at me with great affection, I blushed again and she began to smile at me warmly. I had never seen this kind of smile before, and it was for somebody like me.

''Maybe I ask you one last thing?'' She asked politely.

''Yes…''

''Your mobile phone. ?''

''But didn't you just use yours?'' I asked surprise.

''Yes but I need, it's very important…pleeeease?'' She begged me. I did not what to so I simply stretched out to her my device. She touched buttons and handed my phone.

* * *

The amber-haired girl greeted me and went away letting me contemplated her leaving; I shook my head, wondering why I was starting discussion with this perfect stranger. Can be this person reminded me of me when I was younger? Sad, lonely and who showed no emotions. My mask was coldness and it seemed her was her own so perfect smile.

I looked at my phone; there was the number of the rubies woman. I can't contain anymore my laughter. And she dares to claim I was a flirt. Then what she was doing? Perhaps I imagined things. She probably wants my friendship. I looked at my watch, it was already 10 a.m., and it was time for me to go to the cemetery.

* * *

Outside the cemetery gate, I was leaning against my bike under a pouring and cold rain; I had not attended funeral eulogy in the church. I would probably feel uncomfortable because I would certainly see persons there whom I knew and especially people I did not want to see.

I noticed few minutes later, a group of people who moved forward with a coffin. These persons were all dressed in black and they walked silently crying in their handkerchief. I was able to recognize some of them, aunts and uncles, and the old hag (my grandmother for those who had not recognized the lovely nickname), and other members of my family. I was still waiting outside because I wanted to see nobody now. I wanted to pay tribute to my sister only when I'm alone. And certainly not surrounded by undesirable people because I could not be sincere, and I needed for healing my Grief solitude and loneliness. I was sure some of these people who attend the funeral will think I've never been to see my sister and that's didn't matter me.

While I waited several minutes looking at the sky, the weather became more and more darkening and threatening. Rain had not stopped falling. Perfect weather for this kind of event. I saw the bereaved that began to go away one by one or in groups of several under their umbrella. Finally I took off my helmet and took the flowers. I headed into the cemetery, looking for my mother's gravestone and I put down flowers and prayed a moment.

I got up of and saw somebody behind me whom I had not seen for several years, nevertheless I could recognize in an instant and I'd preferred not see to see him now. I'm afraid of becoming enraged or acting irrationally. But one thing is for sure, I can not stay any longer here while he was still there.


	4. Chapter 4

It seemed my story isn't really popular; four rewiews for two chapters, perhaps my English isn't correct or my story doesn't interest you. Well this chapter will be last one even if my story has 10 chapters. Translate take time more we think perhaps I will remove the fanfic, I don't know. Thanks for those who favourite and follow me until now.

* * *

Chapter 04 our bound...

I got up of and saw somebody behind me whom I had not seen for several years, nevertheless I could recognize in an instant and I'd preferred not see to see him now. I'm afraid of becoming enraged or acting irrationally. But one thing is for sure, I can not stay any longer here while he was still there.

I could not help to looked at him intensively, I noticed image I had of him changed, his features were different and tired with some of dark circles and wrinkles, probably related to his advanced age. Now he had greying haired instead his black hair.

Why now? I have done all my possible to stay as far as possible from this annoying conversation.

''Natsuki ... oh my god ... you ...I don't know what to say,'' he said looking at me with great attention.

''Then continue.'' I laughed coolly.

''I…'' I can see he hesitated.

''Sorry but I don't have time to waste with you. So what do you want? Answer me now or I go away!'' I cut hastily so he can continue his previous sentence, but it didn't work.

''It's amazing, you exactly looked like to Saeko when she was younger, her green eyes, her face, and even the color blue of her hair.''

''Wow I am so happy to know it. You are not the only one to say that. It's probably because I'm her daughter; I look like so much at her. I always have that look before; you have simply forgotten. It's kind of sad. I can not find my word to explain this pain. You missed me so much. I'm happy to see you again. Oh no,no, no... it's impossible I can't continue anymore this joke. That's make me sick.'' I insisted in glaring at him.

''I have not forgotten ... you're her precious and beautiful daughter ... I can't deny it when I see you... I know you are angry with me…I probably deserved it…'' He said avoiding my hatred glance.

''You _probably_ deserved it? Oh come on. Don't play the martyr. Don't you have a better apology to give? I'm a disappointed. No to tell the truth I don't care.''

''I know…but are you alright?'' He shuttered nervously.

''How dare you to bother me for asking? I can't believe your selfishness. Are you really interested or you ask by pure politeness, or perhaps it is simply to make conversation?'' I replied in an icy tone looking to the side with my arms crossed. I can not anymore face him. My hands trembled furiously with anger.

"Natsuki I'm sorry I acted like a bastard, I know you hate me.''

''I can not say the opposite! So _again_ what do you want from me?'' I scolded exasperated by his unwanted presence.

''I just wanted to talk to you and apologize for my behavior in the past. I was wrong…''

''Poor you, it's not as if it would change anything now! You do not even exist for me; you're nothing but a stranger I could meet in the street. I don't want to see you! Stay away from me as you used to do.''

''You're right, but-''

''Stop it! I'm fed up now! I do not care what you want. For my forgiveness? It's late, too late! I need you when Nina and I had lost our mom and you ... damn it! ... You simply fled like a coward from your responsibility with your tail between your legs , leaving us alone with your shrew of mother.'' I barked irritate.

''I made a terrible mistake and I already know!''

''And what? You want me to congratulate you to notice? Are you fucking kidding me!''

''No! Why can't you understand me? Don't be a pig head!''

''How dare you! I can say the same thing! You are not the only one you suffer!'' I growled angrily.

''I just want to explain. I could not stay with you because you remind me of Saeko, especially you Natsuki. I can't bear anymore her missing. It's horrible, I don't know how I survive without killing myself.''

''So it's entire my fault if you went away from Home? Come on, I swear what I have to hear! You're exactly like grandmother, a real rot who always reject their mistakes on others. She also could not bear me because I looked like my mother and now it's the same case with you? What's wrong with you people! You are totally crazy!''

''No, it wasn't what I meant Natsuki…when I lost my wife, your mother ... I was unfortunate, and desperate I did not know what to do. I was afraid to do something bad or hurt you to you and Nina, so I preferred to leave.''

''And what about us? Do you think we were living happy after losing our mother? Or we simply forgot her presence? Or we can move away easily? No! Of course not! So, since the beginning you thought about our happiness? My, it's so generous of you, really, what thoughtful father you are, I'm lucky to have you. Well you have said all you wanted to say, now I gotta go.'' I replied annoyed, I was going to leave but my dad preventing me to go, I clenched fists and gritted teeth because I had an unrestrained wish to give him a punch in his face but I can not do it here, in a cemetery, especially near my mother's grave. She did not deserve; she loved my father for a reason I did not know.

''What do you still want from me? You did not notice me you bother me, get out of my way!''

''Natsuki please wait ... I just want to know as was your life, what you become ... and I promise to leave you alone after.'' The coward begged looked at me with sadness.

''Is it really interested you my life? Why it's amazes me so much? Oh but I know! It has been 15 years since you have not seen me again and didn't try to do it! '' I added with a frown.

''I understand you reaction. But I'm sincere, I really want to know what you become, because of years which I was not able to spend with you.''

''It's your fault!''

''Yes…''

''You only want to give you good consciousness, all right, I am going to tell you the life I have now and the one I had after you left. I'll make it short, I am a computer scientist, I had an increased a week ago, and I live in an apartment in downtown of Nagoya, there is a park outside and I also have a Ducati. ''

''It's great, I'm happy for you.'' The man declared with a smile what made me sick.

''Yeah great, now I am going to say by what I had to go to arriving to get there. You know why I left my grandmother's mansion? Because she treated me like a shit, if I do not obey her, she locked me in my room; I can't have a meal at lunch or dinner, sometimes both. She gave me shots of rule on my fingers if my homework exercises were not good or had some errors. If I had a bad answer a blow, two errors two blows, etc… Only places where I could go were my room, toilet, bathroom and kitchen, what a life. I'm sure if she could do it, the old fool would have made me wear an electronic bracelet on my ankle. I was unable to endure this prison so I ran away.''

''I did not know it would go this far.''

''Really? But you know I have not finished, it is not easy freedom, I walked for miles and I have hitchhike to reach a big city. I lived a long time in street, more than year. I have made things which I shall never believe I make in my life; I begged for money, I ate restaurants and supermarkets' contents trash cans. I slept on park benches or in halls of buildings. All the time I was afraid; I could be killed, assaulted or raped. I began to rob people and in stores for survive or simply feed me to satisfy my hunger. I even had to sell my body against money to pay my apartment. A dream life is not it?''

'**'STOP IT!** I do not want to hear anymore.'' My pathetic father shouted while he looked at me with pity, I thought I was going to kill him. How dare he look at me this way! If I lived hell, it's his entire fault; he was a big part of my forfeiture.

Next he trying to go away, then I grabbed his wrist forcing him to listen to me. He wanted to know how was my life when he left, he will know _all _the truth.

''Not a chance! It was you who wanted to know! Oh but maybe it bothers you to have that kind of girl, you know I was very popular with old rich women.''

''No! Please I have enough!''

**''Me too!** It seemed I am the Kuga which is the drag and slut of family. My mother and sister never went so far as me. And if my grandmother knew my past she would die of shame or perhaps a heart attack? Oh but it is a good idea, maybe I should say to her.''

"Natsuki …I'm so sorry. If your mother was alive…she will never forgive me, what I have done to you…''

''I've already said I do not want your excuses or pity!'' I roared, I could no longer bear this situation I had to go away, this is why I did not want to see him, and I even have said difficult things I never wanted to admit to anyone.

* * *

Always perturbed I was heading towards my sister's gravestone and I saw there was someone near the grave. It was a girl even though I could not see entirely her appearance because she was squatting on ground and she's wearing an umbrella hiding half of her body. I remained standing, not knowing what to do. I thought there will be nobody but it seemed I was wrong. I could not stay here, knowing my father still here; I was going to go away when I saw the man. I did not see him again, especially after what happened a few moments ago. I did not want to provoke a scandal.

''Natsuki please, it's not over. We have to discuss calmly.'' The man said when he had put himself front of me.

''Dammit! Leave me alone! You promise me you were going to let me if I told you my life then made for once what you promised.'' I barked glaring in his direction'' It's probably better if I come back later.''

''Wait!'' The man insisted.

I was going to leave when I felt a hand holding me my shirt sleeve. Surprise, I turned around and I saw who the girl with umbrella was.

"Natsuki.'' She said tenderly.

''Shi ... Shizuru? What are you doing here?'' I asked surprised by her presence.

''You know this girl?'' My pitiful dad asked but I did not pay attention on him and I only looked into the ruby of the Kyoto beauty. We gaze each other during several seconds without saying a word.

''Ara, nice to meet again Na-tsu-ki.''

''Yes me too, do you know Alyssa?''

When I pronounced the name of my sister, I was able to read the amber-haired girl sadness in her glance which broke my heart, I do not know what came over me but I approached her and held her in my arms. I had this feeling she was desperately needed tender gesture and I believe I also needed it.

At first, the girl astounded dropped her umbrella on ground; I could feel her body began to relax in my contact. She was extremely tense and she finally began to cry in my arms. I held her more strongly against me when I felt her nervous trembling, then I closed my eyes, looking up to the sky. Cold water dripping down my face, a lonely tears fall slowly in my cheek. I waited the honey haired girl get better before releasing her.

Few minutes later, she went away from me and wiped her tears while apologizing for her behavior, but I stop her because it was not serious. I said feeling pain or sorrow is making us human. We stayed uncomfortable because we did not know what to say, I noticed other people joined us, I wanted to remaining alone but it seemed it's totally a waste.

"Shizuru.'' A woman with short and sky blue haired enunciated when she came to meet her.

"Miyu!" Shizuru replied with a sad smile.

''Shizuru you should not stay outside in this awful weather.'' The blue haired girl brought her umbrella which was on ground, the goddess with crimsons wanted to share it with me but I refused politely and she turned toward her friend.

''Ara, do not worry about me; I'm well if I can finally really be at a time like this. I just want to stay a little alone. That's all.''

''But I promised to Alyssa to protect you, and I never forgive myself if something bad happened to you.'' I watched silently the two protagonists discussing; this amber-haired girl probably know my sister, perhaps she is one of her friends or an acquaintances close as Miyu? But she seemed so young.

Girls continued to speak, I headed to my sister's grave, I put down carnations, a tear flowed along my cheek and I wiped immediately, I promised myself not to cry anymore because I was afraid of not being able to stop if I began. I had already experienced that situation when my mother died and I did not want to felt again this pain. I got up from the grave and I noticed look in my direction. The blue haired girl approached me.

''Nice to meet you Natsuki, Alyssa spoke a lot about you.''

''You know me? But ... Who are you?'' I asked mistrustful.

''I'm sorry I forgot to introduce myself, my name is Miyu Greer, I am ... I mean I was Alyssa's best friend.'' Miyu asked Shizuru to join us.

''And this girl is Shizuru Fujino Kuga.''

''Ku ... Kuga?'' I shuttered taken back, she has the same name as mine? But who was she? I hope she wasn't another of my half- hidden sisters, because there were more and more numerous. I also felt sorry for her to enter to our crazy and sickening family.

''Shizuru is your niece; she is the only daughter of Alyssa Kuga and Kento Fujino.''

''What!''


	5. Chapter 5

First of all thank you for all your comments. I tried to answer all. For anonymous review it's a little difficult but I don't forget you. So I was wrong thinking my story doesn't interest you. I am also relieved to know my English don't make you run away. I will continue my translation, you want it and I will obey^^.

* * *

Chapter 05 past...

''Shizuru is your niece; she is the only daughter of Alyssa Kuga and Kento Fujino.''

''What?'' We responded simultaneously the beauty with rubies and I. Surprised, I looked attentively at her; I admit I would never have imagined she was my half-sister's daughter. She didn't look anything like her, whether her eyes, color of hair or even her face. She probably had taken all feathers from her father.

''She does not really look like my mother; she has blue hair and green eyes.'' Fujino commented scrutinizing me with an intensive glance. She visibly not saw her own reflection on mirror.

''I could exactly say same thing; you're not portrait of my sister, a blonde with blue eyes!''

''You are perfectly right. It would be a waste if you hadn't good eyesight because they are beautiful like emeralds.'' She said with a bright smile. How dare she tell me this! That little brat! She took the piss of me. My anger slowly disappeared and I become uncomfortable by the way she looked at me. Perhaps I'm imagining things but I have feeling I was eyed greedily. I'm being paranoid…yeah…I really need some sleep or get away from this horrible place.

''Hum ... how old are you?'' I asked the amber girl.

''You know my dear friend, it's rude and intrusive to ask woman's age, maybe you are really interested in me Na-tsu-ki? I'm very flattered.'' I blushed a bit, what's wrong with her? I wondered why she constantly teasing me and why all her saying is always ambiguous. Was it a game? Probably, and I lost many times. Oh man, I want to go home…

''No! It just a normal question and there isn't any particular reason behind it.'' Why I trying to prove myself? I do not understand. It's not as if I'm asking something scandalous right? I didn't ask her weight or her chest size, and I would never do that! I became a pervert because of her!

''I'm 17 and you?'' My sister was 35 years old; today Shizuru is 17; so Alyssa was 18 when she had her daughter. Two years, the last time she returned to the house of our grandmother. Is it for that reason the old witch threw her?'' I thought deeply lost in my calculations.

"Natsuki?'' The girl with rubies repeated, with her hand front of me trying to get me out of my reflection.

''What?''

''I asked your age. It's normal to know, I give you mine.''

''Uh ... yes… sorry you right. I'm 25 years old.''

''Ara?''

''What? You think I was much older?'' I smiled.

''No I'm surprised, you look younger, we have only eight years apart, it's fantastic.'' She said happily, clapping her hands while she looking at me with great tenderness. I watched her sceptical wondering what she meant. I saw my niece's intensive glance while she smiling at me warmly, it made me lost all my composure. In my greatest misfortune I become even more scarlet, obviously my niece laughed. And those who were present watched us with amazement and I redoubled redness.

''There's nothing to see! Stop looking at me like I'm a freak!'' I scolded irritate, I was going to go away when my despicable grandmother of mine arrived, and called me coldly.

''Natsuki Kuga! Come back here you little cheeky! We need to talk, now!'' Unpleasant voice barked.

''Oh no! Not a chance old hag! I don't have the time! Perhaps in your funeral? ''

''How dare you answer me!''

''I don't know, it's natural for me. Maybe you prefer the witch, old hag, harpy, wild or crazy woman. I have lot tones of others nicknames in mind but I'd rather not say aloud because there are people around us. And they will be probably get shocked.''

''I'm going to stop you if you continue.''

''What? What do you gonna do? You will chase after me with your cane and hit me? Oh, I can't wait to see; it will be a good show, especially if you follow me behind my bike.''

''You look like more at the other brainless blond, what a shame. This vermin behavior is genetic. You're both as bad as each other.''

''Fuck you evil witch! How dare you say something like this near my sister's grave, why we not attend your funeral? Everyone would glad to see you a viper like you dead!'' I scolded furiously.

''How could you say such a thing to me! ... Oh my! What a shame ... behave your language or I'll wash your mouth with soap!''

''Go ahead; try if you can old fool. If you dare to do something stupid against me, I will the one who will make you eat soap! Okay?'' I finished when I heard the rustles of persons present. '' Oi you have a problem!'' I roared throwing my famous murderer glance; they were silent in an instant. Looks like it still working. Great! But there is only one exception with Shizuru, who from start always kept smiling at me and I admitted it was very strange.

''Natsuki, we have to see Alyssa's lawyer, it seems that she write a will and you are part of.'' Add my father, trying to hold back his mother from throwing her cane and chase after me.

''What? Why? We barely knew each other and I only saw her once when I was 8 years old, I have thought she would have forgotten me with time.''

''No, she has never forgotten you even if you didn't see each either; she often spoke of Nina and you.'' Greer pointed out.

''What time began the reading of the will?''

''An hour.'' My father said looking at his watch.

''Okay, I'll be there in time, but first I have to go for a ride.''

''Little cheeky come back here! We haven't yet finished our discussion!'' The witch blared, but I did not pay anymore attention to her.

I began shaking my soaked hair dipped by the rain, next I headed for my two wheels, I was going to settle down and put my helmet, when suddenly I saw my niece running in my side.

''Shizuru? What are you doing here?'' I asked surprised to see here.

''Ara…I would like ... well, if it is possible ... could I ... with you ...'' A shade of pink adorned her beautiful face.

Understanding what she wanted, I handed my helmet and invited her to sit behind me. The girl smiled happily and sat snuggling against my back. I started my ducati and began thinking on the road; I did not understand why I acted this way with her. I'm not a sociable person, what disturbed me the most was I hardly know her. I bought her orchids; I embraced her when she needed. And now I invited the teenager to take a ride on a motorcycle with me while I've never let anyone get behind me. Perhaps it's because she is the daughter of my sister? And want to know more about Alyssa.

* * *

We stopped towards a cliff which overhung sea; it was the place where I spent night. I parked my vehicle and waited for Shizuru who removed her helmet and came down from my bike, then I joined her. Rain had stopped falling and I approached near the cliff along with Alyssa's daughter, who stayed on my side. I began observing the landscape; wind blew hardly, making my hair twirl around.

''Ara is a really romantic place for our first date Na-tsu-ki ...''

''WHAT! Are you out of your mind! It's not a date!'' I replied scarlet.

''If you prefer, we can call it a romantic and private meeting with front of us a beautiful rainbow. I'm a lucky woman.''

''This is either a romantic and private meeting! Don't change the subject! It's you who want to go with me! Not me!'' I added barking angrily.

''You are _soooo_ mean!''

''Sorry." _You little teasing demon girl_.

''Natsuki is really cute when she blushed; I never get tired of seeing you in that state.'' Everyone knows my face instantly flushed. Do I have a mysterious disease or something weird happened to me? I can't stop blushing!

I saw Fujino Kuga looking at the sky and sighing heavily, after she looked at me with a dazzling smile, it was so false.

''You know, your happy or smiling face's you do not have need them with me. I know you are sad, it's perfectly normal.''

''Ara, Natsuki absolutely want I cry? You want to break my poor little heart?''

''What! No! I never say that! And I do not want to break your heart! It's just that you do not have to force yourself to look happy in front of me. I see you're sad because of your fake smile.''

She looked at me uneasy even she tried to erase rapidly her astonishment, but it was too late.

''I do not know what you're talking about.'' She said trying to avoid my gaze. I sighed by her stubbornness.

''You can fool others but I know this face, this façade. You want to show you are strong, people want worried about you. It's generous and admirable but in reality you're unhappy. You know, you can occasionally be selfish by showing and sharing your pain.'' I added scratching nervously my neck.

''I'm fine. Do not worry about me.''

'' ... My mother died in a car accident, a drunken man hit her as she was crossing the road. And my father, he left our house same day, he abandoned my sister and I. So I exactly know what you experienced losing your two parents. I didn't know she was going to disappear so abruptly. I was not able to say goodbye and it still hurt today. I always kept these feelings inside me and it's not a good thing. I realized it today. And it looks like you make the same mistake as mine. I was always alone, but you will not be alone as I was, because if you need someone in your side then I'll be there for you.''

Shizuru began to brush my fingers and intermingle in hers; she squeezed strongly my hand to control her shivers. I tried to stay calm but I felt nervous to be so close with someone.

''Why did not we meet before?'' My niece whispered softly even if I had heard perfectly all her words.

''I do not know. I tried several times to contact your mother or find people who were relate to her but without any result.''

''No, I did not mean that way.'' She sighed deeply.

''So what do you mean?'' I asked perplexed because I admit I did not understand what she meant.

''No, it's nothing ...forget…''

'' ...'' Weird.

''Say Natsuki, do you believe we can fall in love at first sight?'' I started to look at her incredulous, wondering why she asked me that kind of thing, especially at time like this. I imagined she asked is there a paradise after death, why people died or something else. But not that…

''Not really. Why?''

''When my parents saw each other, it was love at first sight.''

''How did they meet?'' I asked concerned, I knew nothing about the love life of my half-sister. I admitted I really want to know.

I felt the amber-haired girl stiffen against me, she pressed her body, putting her other hand around my arm and then she put her head in my shoulder still holding firmly my hand. Afraid I will be disappeared but I won't.

''My mother was 15 years old and my father Kento Fujino was in same class as her. At the beginning, it was my father who declared his love and said he had the love at first sight but she didn't seem to pay attention on him. She was quite cold and distant with him but force to get closer with him, she also fell in love. She had never admitted before, but she also fell in love with him when she saw him for the first time. Well that's what she told me when she spoke to me about their meeting but she never tells him truth. She was shy. But I'm sure my father knew it from start his feelings were reciprocated. At the time, she wanted to love anyone because she did not believe these feelings, but my father did everything for her to open up a little bit more. And finally they were together. A year later, she discovered she was pregnant while she was already betrothed to someone else, I think it was a business person who worked with my great-grandmother. But when Sachiko discovered my mother's state, she wanted her to abort or give birth so she can leave me to an orphanage or being adopted by a foster family. And she would be free to get married with her intended husband. My great-grandmother did not want my mother to be with my father, because he did not come from a wealthy family, my paternal grandfather was only a simple worker and my grandmother was a seamstress.''

When she stopped, I swallowed with difficulty; I did not know it was going so far. I already did not like the old harpy, now I hate her even more. She always sticks her nose in everyone else's business. What surprised me the most is, my niece knew the entire story and did not seem affected or she hid it very well. Really, the Kuga women are cursed about their love and death.

'' ... But my father did not accept and asked my mother in marriage and they ran away together from the boarding school where they were studying, because my great-grandmother wanted to bring my mother by force and locked her at home until her weeding.'' The beauty with crimsons continued inhaling profoundly.

'' ...'' I did not know what to say, I watch a movie and nevertheless that wasn't the case...

''You know ... I should have died with my parents.'' The teenager added sadly.

''What? Why?'' I answered worried.

''I had to go with them to a wedding but I did not want, I preferred to go to a party with my friends and I had a quarrel with my parents. It's the reason why I did not go. They probably hate me. I feel so guilty, I shall have been with my parents when they had the car accident and die with them. "

''NO! You do not have to be guilty; it is not your fault. All teenagers make their crisis one moment or another. And did not say that you should die, you must be happy to be alive. And I'm pretty sure they do not hold grudge against you. They love you, always. They will happy to see grown up and live completely your life.'' I added to the teenager trying to force her to look at me. She observed me a moment and her face grew pink.

''Ara you're right, I'm happy to be alive because I was able to meet you. It's most beautiful gift my mother and father could give me.'' I was very astonished, I did not expect such words from her and I began looking at sky, I can't stop my face from going red of embarrassment.

''Uh ... thank you ... I am also happy to have met my teenager niece.''

''Auntie Natsuki, you consider me as a teenager but I'll soon be 18 and major.''

"Auntie Natsuki? My niece, for me you're only a little kid and you always will be.'' I laughed messing up her chestnut hair while Shizuru pouted and gave me a light slap on my shoulder.

''But I am far from being a kid ... Na~tsu~ki ...you will see…very soon…'' The beauty with rubies whispered sensuality in hollow of my ear, her breath instantly made me shiver.

''Hmm...If you say so.'' I replied ill-at-ease by her strange behavior.

''Natsuki ... do you believe in soul mates?'' Really, she asked weird questions.

''We would be intended for someone special somewhere in the world? Not really, why?''

''I think I met my soul mate a while ago; it's same love at first sight as my parents. I would never imagine kind of thing happen to me. It's incredible and also very frightening.''

''Is that so? And you confessed to him your feelings?''

''Not because it is recent and I'm not sure if it's mutual or if I have even right to admit my feelings because there are various reasons against our love.''

''What reasons? Sorry, it's not my business. You don't have to answer.''

''Don't worry, I'm fine and I want to tell you. It's a girl.''

''Oh wow;'' was the only words I could manage to say. Okay, I didn't really know how to react, but hey, each people have their own preferences.

''Ara, is it an inconvenience I could love a girl?'' She questioned me fear laced in her voice.

''Yes! NO! I mean of course not! Just don't tell to your grandmother.''

''Yes, I know. She's probably homophobe.''

''Yeah, and she has some others many qualities. Also it's your private life, I have no right to judge you.''

''I do not disgust you?'' She said shyly looking nervously at her foot.

''Why? Because you are a lesbian? No, it doesn't matter to me. You still my niece. Even if you love E.T.'' I chuckled when I saw a colourful blush on her cheeks.

''In fact it's first time for me, I've always been attracted to boys but it was before I meet her. And you are also the only person who knows about my attraction for girls.''

''I see. I promise I won't say a word.''

''I know. I believe in you.''

''…''

''And you Natsuki, do you have someone you love?'' She asked me.

''No. That's does not interest me. I do not believe in such nonsense we call love.''

''Natsuki?'' The girl with Kyoto accent said pulling my arm towards her.

''What?"

I turned towards her, Fujino grabbed me by my neck and brought me to her and began to kissing me.


	6. Chapter 6

Lucky you, another chapter. Thanks again for your reviews. Also I want to answer to guest, the story seem fast but it's Shizuru who was like that (aaaah teenager xD) and we don't even see Natsuki reaction. I take guest suggestion about Nina, in my original story I didn't mention her but I will add something here.

* * *

Chapter 06 more problems...

* * *

''And you Natsuki, do you have someone you love?'' Shizuru asked me.

''No. That's does not interest me. I do not believe in such nonsense we call love.''

''Natsuki?'' The girl with Kyoto accent said pulling my arm towards her.

''What?"

I turned towards her, Fujino grabbed me by my neck and brought me to her and began to kissing me. Her soft lips moved slowly and gently against mine without any rush. I can smell her perfum...jasmin; I also felt her warm breath upon my face.

Caught off guard; I didn't know what to do or react. Only my mind cogitated about various things as; somebody kissed me, and not just anyone. But a girl! A teenager and more important she was my niece! **My niece!** What did she do that? Perhaps she was in need of comfort, and it was the only thing that came to her mind? But this isn't a good reason to do that! It was so wrong! It wasn't a kiss for a parent but there was so much deeper...I can't explain with words...

I finally regained my consciousness when I felt her tongue touching lightly my lips! Holy crap! She wanted to deepen our kiss…I mean _her_ kiss.

I violently push her away from me. Shocked, Shizuru almost lost her balance but regain her composure. Meanwhile I wiping furiously my lips I glared angrily at her.

''What's wrong with you! Are you crazy! Or you simply lost your mind? Why did you do that!'' I shouted taken aback by her behaviour.

''Ara, I simply want to thank you for helping me and listening to me when I needed the most.''

''Reaaaally? You could show your gratitude in a different way than this one! For example just use the word 'Thanks' or a simple kiss on my cheek. I assure you, that it's enough for me.''

''I can do it if you want.'' How dare she smile politely as if nothing important happened?

''No way! Don't dare to do it or I will lose my temper! I can tell you didn't want to see me in this state.''

''I only want to show you my gratitude, that's all. It's certainly not your first kiss.'' She added with a pout. Don't kill her Natsuki Kuga! But she was so **RAAAAAAH!**

''That's not the point!''

''With a girl?'' She continued literally surprised.

''Mind your own business or I let you alone here!'' And I really want.

''Okay, don't be so angry. Plus it's not that you never kiss a friend on the lips?'' She asked me interest. I tried so hard to not insult her. Breath, calm down…

''Not like that! Just to remember one thing, I am your aunt and not your girlfriend or some strange close friends of yours! So don't do it again or you will regret bitterly!'' I barked furiously.

''My friends aren't strange! And I know, I haven't to do that. Kannin na. It' just...I don't know. I was wrong.''

''I can't say otherwise.''

''But...''

''What!''

''You don't have to react so badly. It was just quick kiss on lips not a French kiss.'' The teenager sulked. **I CAN'T BELIEVE MY EARS! **How dare she tell me this! She was childish; she just admitted she had some attraction towards girl. And next she kissed me. I'm not some experimentation.

''Thank God you did not give me a damn French kiss! Also to remind you, you almost use your tongue if I didn't stop you in time! '' I scolded irritated. If she had actually done, she would be very sorry. I usually do not hit girls. But I can always change my mind. Well, if I understand; she kissed me because she wanted to thank me? I can accept but I had a feeling it wasn't the main reason.

''Hmm Suki, I noticed something.''

''Suki!'' I repeated with a growl.

''It's a cute nickname isn't it?''

''I don't care. In fact no, I don't like it. I don't want a nickname!''

''Ara, that's too bad. So~''

''What?'' I barked a little annoyed.

''You really a good kisser, I wonder if you are an expert in other field than this one.'' Alyssa's daughter added biting her finger. A blush appeared in her face making her comment more ambiguous.

''Shizuru! Stop it now! It's not funny!'' I screamed red peony. What this girl thinking? Apparently nothing! But more importantly how can she say such a thing to a family member? It was as if I said the same thing to my grandmother. Disgusting! Just thinking about it made me want to puke.

''Ara, ara; I did not know I was doing such an effect on you, that's why you brought me in desert place with any neighbors?'' She joked but I can deceiver strange glimmer in her rubies. Lust? No, no, no! Impossible?

''No,'' I became a lot more redder, she never stopped making fun of me. It wasn't a stupid game and above all I didn't to want to take part. I am sure I could not escape alive.

''We should go. _Before I kill you_ _in this desert place with any neighbors!_'' I groaned putting my hands in my pockets.

''Your place or mine?'' The crimson beauty inquired putting her finger to her lips as if she thought deeply.

''**You!** Will you shut up and thinking twice before you speak!''

''Ikezu.''

''I can say the same thing. I fed up with your little game! I was talking about the law firm.''

''You wanna do it in the law firm? I do not know this kind of place was one of your fantasies Na-tsu-ki. Ara I am so innocent.'' What! Innocent her?! Oh yeah, she's _so_ innocent and pure like the Blessed Virgin.

''Shizuru! I said enough!'' I get worked up.

''Ara Auntie Natsuki, you'll make me blush with embarrassment if you keep screaming my name that way. And I didn't do anything!'' The beauty with honey haired remarked putting her hands on her burning cheeks, she smiling genuinely at me. I will become crazy if she continued.

''Shut it you brat!''

''Hai hai!'' Fujino laughed happily heading towards my bike. I had such a headache. Massaging each side of my temples I tried to drag myself behind her.

In my greatest despair, day had just begun.

* * *

In law firm, I watched my father who was talking with my niece, it had been about for a tens minutes, and then I saw the man come in my direction.

''Natsuki.''

''What do you want!''

''I promise you that I won't bother you anymore, it's true. I just want to give you something special.'' I looked puzzled wondering what he wanted so much to give me. He drew from his pocket a handkerchief and gave me.

''Uh ... a handkerchief ... it's pretty original ... gift. Thanks I suppose.'' I noticed annoyed scratching back of my neck.

''Please, look inside.'' My father asked timidly avoiding my gaze. Surprise, I began to frown though I obeyed and I saw a golden ring.

''This is your mother's engagement ring, I kept preciously all this time with me since her death, and I think she want you have it.''

'' ...'' I was speechless. I do not expect him to give me a ring; it was the most precious treasure of my mother and my father simply given to me? Why? I didn't understand. Did he want something in exchange? But what? I had nothing.

''Hum…can I ask you something…'' I shuddered a bit.

''Yes?''

''How about Nina?'' I asked nervously avoiding my father's gaze. I hated being so weak.

''She's fine; she's study art in Tokyo University and have good grade. Last week, I meet her boyfriend Sergay, a nice guy who has his feet on the ground. They will soon moving together.''

''Okay.'' I said relieved she had a good life.

''Do you want to see her? I can talk to her. She isn't here because she has flu and fever.''

''Is it serious?''

''No don't worry, she just need to rest.''

''…''

''So do you want to see her?'' He repeated.

''No, it's fine…I…just…think it's a great idea…''

''She doesn't hate you contrary to me.'' My father finished sadly.

''I'm not sure…''

''I talk to her, she know you are the one who contact me for her sake. She's very grateful, and she said she also want to help you when you needed the most when you lived with my mother but she was too young.'' I stayed silent, some tears escape. I tried to stay strong but it wasn't easy.

''No, please don't tell her about my past life…please…'' I begged afraid my precious Nina saw what I have become with times. I felt such a shame.

''I promise.''

I gazed a moment the jewel and I just realized my father wasn't there anymore. But he stand front of the door of the office.

''Uh ... thanks a lot for ...everything…'' I added shyly but quite distinctly so my father could easily hear my words. He turned in my direction a little amazed; nevertheless he smiled at me tenderly. I was a little ill at ease. I can't return his affectionate gesture. It was hard for me but it seemed he didn't mind.

* * *

I went into law firm. In a corner of the wall I leaned trying not to get noticed by others. I was not really listening what the lawyer said, I simply watch people who were in the room, like my father, my grandmother, Miyu and my niece. She felt my gaze and turned to me smiling, next she gave me an invisible kiss with her hand. I wondered why she did that, did it was really funny to tease me as much? Probably yes... and as you all know I fall into her trap and I began to blush deeply. I am trying to regain my control but only when I heard my name.

''My clients Alyssa and Kento Fujino wanted if anything serious happened to them that Alyssa's half-sister; Natsuki Kuga become the legal guardian of their daughter Shizuru.'' The lawyer declared reading the will.

''Ah?'' I yelled utterly surprise.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 07 harsh reality of life...

* * *

''My clients Alyssa and Kento Fujino wanted if anything serious happened to them that Alyssa's half-sister; Natsuki Kuga become the legal guardian of their daughter Shizuru.'' The lawyer declared reading the will.

''What?'' I yelled utterly surprise I almost lost my balance. '' I can't! I'm not ready for such important responsibility…I'm not suitable for that…Wait! Why me?'' I asked panicked. Until now for several years I lived alone and now they want me to impose this spotty girl, she had no button but you understand what I mean, she's a teenager. I only know her for a few hours. And I can't live suddenly with somebody. I'm not ready to take care of somebody else. I barely do with myself.

''What's that brainless blond think! How can you let this poor little orphan with Natsuki? But look her! She is irresponsible and uneducated and I've tried hard to give her one. But she too rotten to the marrow with her whore mother and sister's DNA. This family is nothing but a gangrene, she could corrupt my granddaughter with her depraved genes.'' The old Kuga growled letting silent people. She always knew how to cast a pall over.

''Oh you! Will you shut up a minute! It's not your business! So stay away from it! It will be great!'' I wanted to bark furiously but it wasn't me who uttered these words, it was Shizuru and everyone began to watch her in amazement as I do. I never imagined a moment she could say such a thing or lost her temper, she looked like a well-educated girl (a bit teasing...no…a lot.) but also much more polish and wiser than me.

''How dare you little cheeky! See! I was right! She will become like these pathetic women.''

''Ara I forbid you to insult my family either my mother or my aunt! You really think I do not know how you treat your family and you dare to interfere in my life that doesn't concern you! And Natsuki is not as you describe, she is someone extraordinary and very nice. I never meet somebody as incredible as her.'' Fujino added, I began to blush because nobody had ever told me that kind of thing before. It was the opposite.

''Really! You're like that family, a real problem.'' My grandmother barked madly. I almost saw some drool in her lips.

''It bothers you that I am a real Kuga not like you? Aren't you one? I prefer to look like my mother and Natsuki than you.'' Wow I love her referee; she has some guts I thought with a smile. She had same fire as me and my real family. The teenager sat back in her chair and looked at me with a beautiful wide smile that took me by surprise. My heart began to ache and I instantly look at the ground which indeed looked very interesting and dirty.

''Hmm ... Hmm ... Well we do not deal with the intruder. You can continue as if she was never being here. I know it's impossible but we can try.'' I said in a bore tone watching the lawyer who seemed shocked but he continued despite the virulent insults of this witch against me and my niece.

''As I said earlier, my clients had great confidence in you Natsuki. And they entrust you the care of her daughter. If you want, you can adopt Shizuru as your own daughter.'' The lawyer commented looking intensively at me.

''A-Adopting? Oh, uh ... I'm sorry, but I need a little more time to think ... this is a very important decision for both of us... and it goes a bit too fast for me ... Shizuru and I have barely known each…until today… and…'' I could not finish my sentence, because the crimson eyed beauty rising noisily from her chair attracting attention on her.

''Ara I think Natsuki is right, we know each other for a few hours and I preferred to live with my grandfather, is that possible?'' The girl questioned looking towards my father and then to the lawyer.

He accepted as the lawyer who didn't seem anything to oppose Fujino's decision. And I was left totally speechless, things are going too fast. In just ten seconds, Shizuru could live with me and become my daughter and now she is going to live with my father. But why him? Well it probably better than my grandmother. But honestly I do not understand her. The latter walked towards me and smiled, but it was so melancholy it's hurt me for dark reason.

* * *

She went the room, I had to let her go and take back my life I had before our meeting, but I realized I worried about her more than I can admit. I could not let her go. Maybe it was the last time we saw each other. I left the room and began to run after her, hoping to find her easily but I didn't see any trace of my niece. I decided to call her but I had no answer.

Now I walked outside, and I tried to find my phone, I remember I have her number. But I didn't need it; because she was next my Ducati, I can see despair and sadness in her rubies.

''Shizuru''!'' I called out.

She turned and began to smile at me again but this time, it was true and sincere, she approached me and looked at me with great tenderness in my emeralds. I could not help but blushing.

''Natsuki…I…''

''I'm sorry.'' I said before she could finish her sentence. The girl with crimson iris remained stunned, which made me laugh.

''Mou… Natsuki is really mean. It's not nice to make fun of me.''

''Said the person that's doesn't bother you when it's come to me? And you should have seen your face, you were really cute and adorable.'' Oh my god! Did I really say that aloud? Yes I did! To my surprise, the girl with ebony hair could not suppress an intensive blush nevertheless she still kept her neutral mask on her face. But she can't contain a radiant smile on her lips and I began to imitate her gesture.

''Natsuki this story about…becomes my legal guardian.''

''Do not worry; I've thought about it and…I think I will accept. You can come live with me if you want. My apartment is a little small but I'm sure it's enough for us or we can change for a bigger one. Also there is a good University in Chiba. You can easily make new friends.''

''No, I don't want! There is no way I will accept that!'' Fujino shouted.

Taken aback by these words, I was a bit hurt. Okay I was hurt, but I didn't understand why she was so opposite to live with me, does she hate me? Or it's something else, I didn't know? I was sure about one thing, my niece noticed my disappointment.

''Ara it is not what you think Natsuki, I will not bear if you became my legal guardian or adopted me! This is the last thing in the world I want.''

''I see. So we finished? Goodbye Shizuru. See you soon.'' I finished dryly I did not know what to say because there is nothing to add. She didn't want to live with me? So I didn't have to depress about it. But it's really hurts when she rubbed salt into the wound, I was sure now, she hated me. I only wanted to help her and what I get? Nothing good. Next time, I would think twice before helping others. What a bother. I think it was the perfect moment for me to leave. I took my bike keys in my pocket but the girl with crimsons held me strongly my arm and I saw tears beading her face.

''No don't leave me, please.'' She begged me.

''Shizuru what's wrong?'' I asked in panic stooping in her direction.

''There is no way I want you to become my legal guardian or my adoptive mother, I do not want!''

''Alright, I get it. I perfectly understand. You don't have to repeat it several times. I understand!'' I said exasperated and exhausted, now I'm sure she really hates me. Knowing me, it's better to go now before saying or doing something stupid I will regret later, but more important I must forget this girl.

But she still retained my shirt, prevents me from reaching my vehicle. She began to hug me tenderly in her arms; her head buried in my back. I didn't move or breathe; my arms were completely unmoving on the sides. Why did she hug me? I thought she disliked me. Today teenagers are really weird; maybe this is due to their hormones. Or it was simply a goodbye.

''Natsuki ... why you didn't see the real reason I won't to live with you? I want to hold you in my arms, to touch you, to kiss you, make love with you. Becoming a couple, your other half, your girlfriend, your lover would be my dream ... and certainly not my legal guardian, my adoptive mother or a member of my family. No this way. I want to love you with a real and true love.''

Time information arrived in my brain, I saw front of me the teenager with honey-haired, she stroke sensually my fingers, her slowly touch pull up my arm, breast and neck, I can't control anymore my jolts.

''Why me?'' I shuddered afraid when she approached closer.

''Because you are so beautiful Natsuki, I understand Eve with forbidden fruit when I see you…the temptation is so strong, you want to taste even if it's means you go to Hell. The feeling you get when someone you love touches you. You crave more…always more…even if you burn your hand or soul.'' She grabbed me by my shirt and brought me back to her. I felt her soft lips on mine, this time I do not reject her kiss but I neither respond. I simply couldn't react, couldn't return it or pull away. Maybe I let her doing it because I was always disturbed about what she told me. She loved me? And want more? But it was impossible…I knew it…She stopped her kiss and continue to touch my face but I don't let her continue, I caught her wrist.

''Natsuki do you remember when I talk you about love at first sight and soul mates?''

''What? ... Uh ... yes ... you have found your soul mate but it was impossible for some reasons.'' I started to think, why she spoke about it now? And I finally understood when she confirmed my thoughts. All her actions, behaviour…I was dumb and blind to not noticing their meanings…

''The person I was talking about is you Natsuki. From the start, I knew my feelings when I saw you the first time at the florist and I got the confirmation when I saw you again in the cemetery.''

'' ...'' Oh shit! That's what I thought, how did I get into this terrible mess?

''I do not know if you feel the same way, but I don't want the Kuga name as a member of your family. I want to wear your name as your wife. And belonging only to you and your heart, body and soul became all mines. I would love to live with you that way.''

'' ... I'm too old for you... but mostly I'm your aunt.'' I added uncomfortable turning away from her eyes.

''You're not old; we only have eight years apart. It's nothing. And my mother was your half-sister.''

''Eight years is a lot! You do not realize it, but you're still a minor. I work, I'm an adult with an apartment, a bike, and I pay bills and taxes. And you, you're still a teenager who goes to school, that surely many admirers either boys or girls, who go to a nightclub or going shopping with friends of her age. We live in two different worlds. You should find a nice guy or girl who shared your age or activity, passion. I'm not a good choice for you.''

''But they didn't interested me. Never. I have nothing in common with them. Sometimes I feel like a stranger among them. Yes, they like me and want to going out with me because they only like my appearance and nothing more. There isn't this strong bond or felling I have for you.''

''Dammit! How many times do I have to repeat? I am **your aunt**! I am your mother's sister even if we do not have the same father, we still have the same mother and that will never change. The same blood ran though in our veins.'' When I said those words I saw terrible pain in her face and I instantly felt a sharp pain in my heart. I'm not a monster, I know she devastated but it was my duty as a responsible adult to tell her the truth. She only had to accept it.

''Ara it doesn't matter to me, our family or age gap relationships and if I only wanted you?'' She said with a serious tone. Oh great! She seemed to believe her own words.

''You can't.''

''Why?''

''Shizuru you forget one important thing ...''

''What?''

''And me if I didn't want? Do you think about it?''

''I-I...''

''No! You didn't. And you say all this because death of your parents upset you, more than you imagine. When time will heal your wounds, you'll forget all about me and this stupid crush. And it will be a good thing.''

''Ara ... For who? **YOU** or me?'' She growled annoyed.

''Both of us, as you say we are a family and not as you wish. It's better if you forget about this love at first sight. Life is not a fairy tale with a happy-ending. Love is not eternal or wonderful things as you seem to imagine or believe. I know it but not you. We are totally different. I don't want your love! With time you will change your mind and you will find someone else or several others people who share your life and it's normal. Then you will see later that everything I said to you wasn't that stupid and nonsense speech of a simple teenager who didn't know anything about love or life. You will also think I was right from the start when I said you were acting like a little kid saying this bunch of crap, soul mates or love at first sight. What a joke! Just grow a little and after come back to me, so we can have a serious discussion. But now it's impossible with your state of mind!''

At these words my niece gave me a violent slap.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 08 my resolutions...

* * *

When I said these harsh words, my niece gave me a violent slap. I touched my aching cheek. A bit disrupts, I silently dropped my gaze to the floor. I didn't know what to say or react. I would not have ever thought she was going to slap me.

Man that's hurt a lot…and not only physically…

I knew I deserved it, I totally screw up. I didn't have to mention her parents who kicked the bucket. I was angry, afraid, there were a mix of emotion in me I buried and she revealed them easily. There is another way to tell her the true. But I can't find witty remark, I was always a blunt person even if it was mean hurting others people. I don't care if they suffer or not by my words. I was always alone. But I need to tread carefully with her, thinking twice before speaking. I forgot she lost all her daily routine, her family, life, and perhaps more. But I know I wasn't totally wrong. And I will certainly not retreat _all_ my words.

''I'm not a little girl or a child! Yes, I have only seventeen years old but that doesn't mean I didn't know what I want or love. I know life, pain, joy! I lost my parents and it's hurting me. Contrary to you I'm not exactly an adult but that don't give you the right to spit at me as I was simply dumb! My feelings aren't childish or stupid!'' She yelled glaring at me.

''You right, I have no excuse about treating you this way. I'm sorry about your parents. I made a terrible mistake. But I will always see you like a little girl lost, my niece, my sister's daughter and nothing more. I simply tried to show how wrong you are. And you didn't' want to hear me so I act as you deserve.''

''What's that suppose to mean?'' She shot back with venom approaching me like a wild animal but I didn't care.

''You are a child or if you preferred ''a teenager''. You probably hate isn't it? So stop behaved like one! Or I won't stop to behave the same level as you are. You want to play with me your little jokes and game? Okay but you won't win against me! Are you irritated? So what? It doesn't bother me. I simply did tell you the truth, and you did not bear to hear it. It wasn't my fault.''

''And you! You didn't let me a chance to explain my feelings.''

''Feelings? Don't give that excuse. Love is something stupid! I didn't believe that crap. You certainly choose the wrong person to love. If you want we stay close so stop it now!''

''It's impossible, I can't bury my love. I tried so hard but without any result. I'm afraid. You didn't believe I can love you?'' She asked me shyly.

''I don't know…perhaps, you seem sincere moreover I didn't want to hear more.'' I added tired.

''It's cruel''

''I know life is.''

''No you are cruel.''

''Yes I am. I'm a bad person Shizuru, I'm vile, selfish, and you just notice it. You know anything about me. I'm not extraordinary, nice or incredible.'' Suddenly I felt blood running down my lip, I wiped with my hand. The crimsons beauty saw the red liquid continued to flow my lip. Panicked, she looked at me trying hard to apologize for her rudeness.

''Ara I'm sorry Natsuki ... I didn't ...'' I can hear Alyssa's daughters sobbing silently. '' I don't know what came over me ... I didn't want to do that.'' She tried to put her hand on my cheek, which was still on fire, but I move away before she could touch me. She pulled away her hand and put against her chest, she looked up at me with guilt which made me uncomfortable. Usually I didn't make someone cry but I hadn't choice. Because if I let things take such a turn, it will end badly, very bad, I'm sure.

''Natsuki ... I ... I ... I ...'' hiccupped the honey-haired girl looked at me with teary eyes. '' I did not want to slap you ... ... but mostly ... hurting you ... I'm so sorry ... I begging you ... please ... forgive me... don't hate me... I will not bear if you hate me ... I do not wanna lose you like the rest of my family...I love you so much…it's hurting me badly…I can barely breathe…'' When I saw her in this state, I thought my heart would break into thousand pieces, it was hurting me much to see and I only want to comfort the shaking girl in my arms but I can't, because I knew her feelings for me. I will only hurt even more and perhaps give her some false hope.

''Calm down Shizuru ... it's nothing, it didn't even hurt, do not worry about me, okay? So stop crying please, I do not blame you. And you won't lose me…ever…'' I replied trying to smile but the beauty with red eyes continued with her guilt and sobbing. How could I take the pain away? Is that even possible? It was my fault…

''But-'' I interrupted her before she could continue her apology.

''I'm alright don't worry about it; you're tired, perturbed, your feelings are not what you think they are. You need to love someone because you feel alone, and abandoned. You think I am the person who fit you because I am the one in your side when you need the most. But you'll see with time, when there isn't such a rush in your life that all you feel for me is not a true love, but just form of affection or tenderness towards me. I'm glad you feel that way for me. I like you but not _love _you. Also we both shared a painful moment in our past when we were discussing on the cliff and somehow we became closer. But you will see later when you get back to your normal life, that everything I just told you was the truth when you meet the person you l really love deeply and not an illusion love or something fake.''

''Why did you say that? I'm not someone lost who seeking for comfort from the first person she sees. And then this person you do not stop talking about you will never, nor will it be as cute as you, it's impossible and I know.''

''I'm not sure if cute is a compliment, I'm too old.'' I added with a sigh while my hand running through my hair trying to calm my nerves. My niece didn't understand what I was saying, but I will force her to realize the truth no matter how long it will take.

''Your Age! Why are so obsessed about your age? This is not important, if love is mutual is what matters the most. Even when you're old, hunchback, wrinkled with white hair, I will always love you. Maybe you say my feelings are immature and unrealistic because in your eyes I am a teenager or simply a kid, but I know how deepen are my feelings for you. It's real and it will never change with time.''

So innocent and naïve it was kind sad. Everything wasn't beautiful and perfect. I admitted this is the weirdest and original declaration of love I've ever heard, but also very touching.

First of all, there is no way I become hunchback. Never! And I certainly would not have white hair! Well wrinkles it's possible. It was strange; but I was happy to hear her words. Why? I didn't know the reasons. But one thing is for sure, it wasn't important what I felt and it never will.

''Don't you notice you imposing by force your love?''

''I-I''

''Shizuru you told me that you had a crush on me,''

''I love you.'' The teenager rectified with her cheeks turned a bright red. I pinched bridge of my nose, it's more complicated than I imagined.

''…yes I you want…do you ever love someone else before me? Or have you ever had experiences in love?''

'' ... I already going out with several boys ... but ... it's not important ... it has nothing to do with us ... our story, our love ...''

''There is no love and story between us! How many times do I have to repeat? It's just you need somebody; maybe you have serious feelings for me but forget them. Also you already know it's impossible for both of us and why are you interested in me? Because I am unapproachable? Is it a kind of challenge for you?'' I asked seriously, she flinched at my accusations.

''Of course not! I never thought about it! I did not even know that you were my aunt when I met you for the first time at the florist and it's also your case.''

''Whatever, now we both know I'm your aunt, we are a family and we can not change anything. It would be better if you forget what you called love, this is absolute nonsense.'' Feeling uneasiness about this conversation, I sighed irritated placing my hand on my face. When she will understand?

''Is it because I'm a girl? Does my love I having for you is inappropriate?'' She questioned clenching her teeth.

''No, this isn't a problem for me; It doesn't matter to me homosexual couples. And if I fall in love, gender doesn't matter to me. And you know nothing about me; you're just fell under my spell because of my appearance. That's all.''

''It's not true! I admit when I saw you for the first time at the florist I found you beautiful, your eyes troubled me a lot. I never thought for one moment a girl can interest in me this way and even now I'm still confused by these feelings I can't control anymore. But when I saw you at the cemetery and when we both went to the cliff, I was so happy it was the first time in my life and it isn't causing by your looks but your presence. When you are close my heart simply stopped beating, even now when I am with you it's nearly to explode. I love your smile or the way you look at me. I feel so special.''

''Shizuru please stop. You must remember these feelings have no place here; you gotta love someone other than me, who am I a part of your own family. I'm not the person you seem to idealize. I can't lie, be with you was great. I can't deny we share a strange bond. But it wasn't me. If you knew really who I am then I do not think you will declare your love and I perfectly understand. In my past, I did things I'm not proud of. And I could never erase my mistakes. I'm broken, I can't love you, never.'' I said seriously grabbing her shoulders so she can seriously listen to me.

''Your past does not matter to me.'' Fujino added tenderly holding my one of my hands but I immediately brushed off and stepped back a few paces, even it was upset me to saw my niece desperate.

I had not choice but showing a determinate face.

''You say it now, but you and I know that was wrong.''

''The past is the past, and I like the Natsuki front of me ... nevertheless mistakes you have committed, you have become the extraordinary person I am fell in love. You're a nice, caring even if you don't like to show to others. And despite the family or life you lived. I never meet a person like you strong and beautiful.'' My heart began to swell probably because I have not used that someone was so attentive with me, I can felt burning increase in my face. But they were only words, and she was only a child who knows nothing of life to say that. She knew nothing about me and it was the same for me. Why she does not understand the situation? There will never be us; it looks like I'm talking to a wall. And sincerely her stubbornness started to annoy me.

''Do you ever listen what I said? No! You are a pig-headed!'' I intoned harshly.

''Stop it!''

''You first! That is why I consider you like a child and that will never change!'' I barked coolly. Alyssa's daughter bit her lower lip nervously and clenched her fist. Next she looked at me with a resolute sight.

''I will show you I'm not!''

''Don't waste your precious time.'' I laughed bitterly.

''Do you think you're better than me because you are twenty-five years old? Do not make me laugh! Do not you think is you who behave like a kid! You hide yourself in veiling the face rejecting me as you can because of my age and our relationship seems to you the best of your excuses. But I know that you also have the same attraction I have, I've seen it many times love, lust. You love me, you want me.''

''It's not true! Do not dare to continue! Do not take your dreams a reality! I feel nothing for you!'' I screamed enraged.

''Ara a child would exactly behave like you, she would be easily irritated while I simply state the truth, and you did not bear to hear it.'' Fujino returned to my own words against me? She was very clever I can't say the contrary; I lost so easily my temper and many times, shit!

''What do you want Shizuru? My love? I can't. Me? It's not possible. Give up.''

''…''

''…''

* * *

''Natsuki if I wasn't your niece and if there isn't an age problem and if I had 18 years now, do you think we would have a slightest chance between us. Tell me the truth please, I have to know.'' My niece begged me approaching me while I was watching on the side exasperated by such obstinacy. I will surely tell her it would be closer to no than yes. Therefore there are many 'if' and things that I should think; she is minor, and fragile. And she's still my niece and it will never change. So imagining other life is simply useless and reckless, being reasonable it's what I have to do for both of us because she wasn't for herself. I had in my hands her future happiness. I knew she could never be happy with me especially after the life I've lived in the past. I'm so tormented, hurt inside, I could never give her the love she expected and I did not want to give. Because I don't even know what was love and I didn't want to learn.

''No, I wouldn't be interested in you, even if I saw you in the street; I would not care about you.'' Liar, I lied for the first time but I had to do it, I had no choice. It was the most reasonable thing I had done in my life.

''Even now I feel nothing for you, you're a nice girl, very beautiful it's true. Yet I could never be in love with you, or even feel some attraction.'' I'm still lying, I do not really know myself if I'm lying or not, but it was my duty to say these words. I have to continue and finally inflict the coup de grâce. I do not want to do it because I see how miserable and helpless she was. If she hates me or had rancor, then she will try to get away from me by herself. And it was only for her future happiness and well-being I'm doing this. Hate me Shizuru. Slap me if you want. But forget me.

''You're probably right about one thing, it's better for both of us that we do not live together. I don't want to have to load a girl who foolishly believes that she love me and who will run after me all day. It's a tiring and frustrating situation, and I would start to hate you. So you right, it will be better if you live with my father.'' I finished a lump formed in my throat when I noticed that she did not say anything.

''Natsuki could love me if I wasn't your niece?'' She questioned again holding my hands in my face I fled away from her intensive glare.

''No.'' Because I do not even know myself what was love. The only love I knew was a charnel act. And I don't want to know this destructive feeling's that broke most of my close relative like my mother, sister, father and now my niece, who looked completely devastated.

''Ara, so you don't feel anything for me?'' She asked me seriously seeking the truth in my eyes.

''I like you as my niece; you are a good person I can see it but there isn't anything more.'' I felt something for you but I didn't know what and I didn't want to know. Also I wasn't allowed to think about you as a potential lover because it was disgusting to see you that way. You're my niece, the daughter of my sister Alyssa and if I like the way you want, then it was immoral, more than love between two girls. And I didn't want to ruin your life for a little fling you believed real but it wasn't.

''And that will never change?'' she insisted stroking tenderly my cheek I grabbed her wrist to stop her inappropriate movement.

''Never. I still want you in my side, even if it isn't...like you want." Maybe with time you will forget all about me and faster than you imagine. I sincerely hope because you deserved better than somebody who are your own family and totally lost and clueless.

''Okay ... I supposed it's better than nothing.'' I thought she would still argue a bit longer but if she reacted this way it was a good thing isn't it? Yet I didn't know what to think ... it was too easy? I won't complain.

''Yes.''

''Why did you choose to live with my father?'' I asked puzzle with a frown.

''When we were in law firm he asked me probably when he knew I was the daughter of Alyssa, he felt guilty for having abandoned his family and he wants to catch up his mistakes by helping me while he never helped his daughter, my mother. And I believed him, I could see remorse.''

''I don't know, it's impossible for me to forgive him, after what happened when I was young, he left me when I needed him the most and I could never trust him again.'' I admitted bitterly.

''I know. He hurts my mother and you… I also understand the reason you can't forgive him, but this is the only option I have. ''

''... You do what you want, after all it's your decision... as long as you do not live with my grandmother, I think it's the best thing for you.'' I sighed looking at the sky with my hands in pockets.

''Ara you really think so?''

''Yes I really do.'' I replied seriously looking at her.

''I'd like to do something before leaving.''

''Something?'' I asked surprise.

''Yes to forget you and all theses inconvenient feelings I have for you. I want to turn the page and to have any regrets.'' She raised her hand to the side; I thought she would slap me again to remove all her frustration against me. I won't stop her. I closed my eyes and I felt her cold yet gentle hand in my cheek, her other hand was behind my head. Her lips were on mine and salt water mingled with my saliva.

This is the third time she kissed me; my heart was beating so fast. Do I have to push her away as I did the first time? Let her do what I am doing? Or kissing her back to say a final goodbye? No! I can't do that! I opened my eyelids and I pushed gently the teenager who had tears in her eyes. I wanted to wipe these marks of grief, but I can't. I turned away from her because if I showed her some attention, she won't forget me and that's the last thing I want.

''Ara, I think I have my answers to my questions.'' She smiled tenderly. I looked sceptical not understanding what she means. She removed her tears and kissed my cheek, and whispering in my ear:

''Goodbye my Natsuki ... I love you ...always…even if you don't believe it…'' Paralyzed by her words my heart had stopped beating. She tenderly stroked my hand and went to the law firm, leaving me alone with my motorcycle.

''Goodbye Shizuru ...'' I replied squeezing my keys blood pouring profusely in my hand. '' I'm sorry ... but I can never love you ... ''

* * *

N/A: Sorry for my grammar TT. Also I will take a break. (But not too long).


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 09: our fate...

* * *

Lost in my reflections, I lengthened lazily on my sofa. It had been a year since I hadn't seen my niece, and last time was in the law firm. I hadn't any more news about her, whether a phone call, letter, email or this kind of thing. It was my fault. I had her number but I didn't dare to call. For not being tempted, I deleted her number even if I had said that I wanted to stay in touch but I couldn't anymore. She disturbed my feelings that frighten me.

I only knew that she lived now with my dad in Tokyo. As my concern I still lived in Nagoya. I didn't try what she became, even though in my heart I terribly wanted to know but I had promised to myself not to bother and never contact her. I didn't want to get involved in her life, I was conscious I made her suffer. She certainly never wants to see me again and I perfectly understand. But if that were the contrary it wouldn't change anything about my resolutions. She certainly had a new life, and I didn't want to take part.

Words I had said to Shizuru didn't stop tormenting me every day. Did over time I become someone insensitive and heartless? I couldn't deny it. After the life I had lived in the past, it didn't surprise me. I didn't trust anyone and I didn't want to believe in someone afraid being hurt again.

For God's sake! I roared mentally. I was so afraid of becoming like my grandmother, an old woman embittered by life and who showed ignoble to her family; I couldn't bear it if I behaved like her.

I was sure about a thing, I won't act as my grandmother who rotted others life because she disliked hers. I will keep away those who want my closeness and that concerned particularly my niece, I'm sure now she had rebuilt her life and she forgot about love at first sight and soul mates. I hoped she found someone nice who made her happy. Even though just thinking I had a twinge in my heart, it was better that I do like it, I turned the page on which the story had never really existed and that I meet someone instead of staying in me moping at home as I did for many years. But I did not want to, I could never truly connect to someone, it is impossible for me and I had long been aware. It is important for me to finish alone, I was not afraid of solitude. I had lived for many years that I'm used to.

I remembered then that I had to return to Fuuka, tomorrow was the anniversary of the death of my mother, I never missed an opportunity to go. I should probably visit the grave of my sister at the same time.

* * *

The next day dressed in black, I headed directly to Fuuka toward the florist. I bought two bouquets of flowers, irises and orchids. I left the shop I began to look in the window and I saw daisies. I wanted to crush them with my hand, I approached the flowers, ready to destroy them.

''Ara, you shouldn't do that. The beautiful flowers are made to be loved said a wise friend of mine. And she was right. They do their best to hatch during their short lives.'' a familiar voice interrupted me, it was so painful to hear, petrified I didn't know how to react.

No I probably hallucinating or I was just a daydream. I'm crazy isn't it? I heard voices now? Maybe it was my conscience because I did something wrong, but why would it have her voice? Well it's impossible that this voice is my conscience as if it were really the case it would mean I've lost my mind. I think I need more time to sleep or I have to see in emergency a specialist ! Always close to the daisies, I didn't move hoping that I would wake up from my dream, or rather nightmare.

''Natsuki are you okay?'' The voice repeated with a hint of anxiety, I could feel a hand on my shoulder.

No, it wasn't a dream, it was so real these feelings, I looked hesitantly behind me.

''Shi ... zuru.'' I said surprised. It was really her ...

''Natsuki ... '' she repeated affectionately, I began to look away from her while my cheeks were burning.

''Shizuru ... you're really here ... why?'' I whispered more to myself than to her.

''Ara I'm happy, you still remember me Na-tsu-ki. I thought you forget me.'' She answered smiling warmly; she put her hair behind her ears because the wind blowing strongly. Of course I remembered her, she was my niece ...always ... But what was she doing there?

Watching in our respective emeralds and rubies, I can decipher inside great tenderness, I was uncomfortable when her eyes seemed to pierce my soul, for several seconds we remain silent. Time had stopped for us and I wish it accelerated. It was a torture for me to stay like this.

''Shizuru- why- ''Unable to finish my sentence, I heard someone coming toward us.

''Shizuru where have you been? I search you everywhere.'' A man said approaching us, I saw a blond man come near her, she smiled gently and she kissed him in the corner on his lips. I felt uncomfortable. Why it annoyed me so much? I hated feeling that, it made me pathetic but mostly miserable.

''Ara Yuuichi, I came to buy some flowers for my mother and I met my aunt, I'm sure it's destiny ... '' She added with a wink.

I clenched my teeth and fists; it was true, I was only her aunt and nothing more, nothing less. I knew from the beginning ... and yet it did hurt me to hear those words from her mouth; however that was simply the truth. About this boy, I admitted he was pretty mundane and I his hair, I preferred not talk about it. He was Shizuru's boyfriend? She could find better..., but I hadn't the right to judge or criticize her choices. If she loved him it was what mattered most.

''Nice to meet you Natsuki. I heard a lot about you.''

''Probably bad things?'' The young man smiled her hand while I stood without looking at him, he began to laugh nervous.

The destiny is making fun of me. I met my niece where we met for the first time. But it wasn't her who would tear the petals of an orchid but me who was going to crush this Daisy, and I didn't know the reason.

Maybe because I thought at my niece, and I was angry, I didn't know why. And now she just front of me with her smile filed up with kindness and affection. I hated that smile! Why it bothered me so much! Because it was sincere and it bothered me? What's wrong with me! Honestly I preferred when she showed her perfect mask without any trace of emotion than her true face. It would be easier for me ... But why?

I realized that if I hadn't made the mistake of crushing that damn flower, I could easily go away, but mostly I could avoid seeing her. But I could always go, I didn't want to see the Lovebirds cooing, or cuddling. I want to puke. Also I didn't want to talk to Fujino, not in the state I was. I had to flee as soon as possible. What she had done to me? It wasn't me, I was the Ice Princess, the lone wolf, and now I ran away like a coward. But I changed and it was her fault, I finally realized.

''Well, I leave you both, I'm in a hurry. Goodbye.'' I finished coldly leaving no chance for them to continue the conversation. I walked quickly to my bike and I started the engine. I went near the cliff where I took Shizuru with our so-called'' romantic date'' just thinking that made me laugh.

I remembered the moments we shared together, when we hold hand, or she snuggled against me and told me about her parents' meeting and more importantly her feelings about her loss, and her first love at first sight and being myself, and I confess someone naïve I didn't notice things without being said directly.

I also remembered our first kiss and those after; I must stop thinking about those memories. This wasn't good! It was too late, and complicate! And wrong! And it hurts ... Why I can't stop thinking about her? I watched the sea hitting violently the rocks around me. I realized the height, and it made me dizzy. I realized I had vertigo.

* * *

''NATSUKI! DON'T JUMP!'' A terrorize voice scream that I recognized immediately. I almost fall with a heart attack. I turned to the chestnut woman who was extremely pale and almost in tears.

''Shizuru are you crazy! What are you doing here? Don't tell me you followed me!'' I barked angrily seeing a taxi near my Ducati.

''You don't let me the choice, I begging you, stay away from the cliff.'' She stuttered nervously. I had never seen so afraid. What she imagined? I saw her ruby watch me with fear and behind me, she slowly approached me.

''I'm not going to jump.'' I protested offended she could think I had some suicidal tendencies.

''So come near me!'' She ordered me with a sob.

''Really? Shizuru, you annoy me with your melodrama, I haven't done anything and I intend to continue.'' I sighed heavily listening to her request. When I reached her level, she threw herself into my arms I almost lost balance.

''Idiot! You made me scared to death!'' She scolded and gave me punches.

''Ouch! Stop it, it's hurt. Also stop getting some weird ideas. I wouldn't do anything.''

''I hope so if you had then I would have jump with you.''

''I wouldn't jump!''

''Natsuki wait!'' The beauty of Kyoto begged grabbing my hand when I managed miraculously to get out of her embrace. I decided not to pay attention to her. I continued my way to my two wheels but two arms encircled my waist and I felt someone put her head on my shoulder. I immediately recognized this sweet sensation, but especially the wonderful perfume. I felt chills throughout body when my niece touched me and it was something I had always prohibited.

''Shizuru let me go, please.'' I implored trying to move towards my bike but she didn't seem to let me go. She shouldn't react this way in my presence. And this isn't the way we should hug a member of her family. Her gesture is so warm and loving, it disturbed me completely.

''Natsuki I thought you'd be happy to see me as I am seeing you. Why do you flee from me as usual? I waited desperately you give me a sign of you, a call or other gestures but nothing! And it was you who wanted us to keep contact. But you lied shamelessly to me! Why did you act this way with me? Don't you see it's hurting me?''

Oh yes I am happy to see you and it wasn't normal, I didn't have that kind of feeling for her, it wasn't right, it was the real reason for this distance but I couldn't tell her. Yes I was a coward and a liar. I wanted to immunize myself from her presence, then why does my heart accelerated getting me sick when she was around? I never imagined I could see her after all this time and especially now in this place where we shared so many things together. I wasn't ready, yet I have imagined this moment, our meeting, but things weren't always as we would like.

''I…Shizuru ...I'm sorry... what are you doing here? And what do you want?'' I asked in an icy tone more than I thought turning my head in her direction. Oh no, she was so close to my face, our lips were only a few centimetres from each other. My breathing started to deteriorate but I let nothing to see. The chestnut beauty who had felt the hardness in my words, looked at me affected by grief why I still hurt seeing her? Maybe because it was the same look that I was so upset when I saw in the cemetery and when I rejected the law firm. And now it was my fault if she looked so depressed. I turned away from her eyes looking at the ground.

''Ara I simply want to see you, I missed you so much, and it seems it wasn't reciprocated.''

''What! Why?'' Okay, I thought I didn't say anything but I actually said aloud. Honestly, I didn't imagine she could tell me that especially after what happened between us, and how we broke up, maybe she forgot all about this story?

''There is no reason, I'm just happy to see you.'' She commented bringing her head close to my neck, my cheeks began to burn through this closeness; her soft skin was against mine, I just noticed she became taller than me, and more beautiful.

''Is it for this reason you followed me?'' I inquired uncomfortable, trying to regain my composure but my heart wasn't calm but the opposite, probably because Shizuru had one on her arm wrapped around my waist and the other was over my shoulder, she encircled me against her body. I could feel her warmth against me. I tried to remove her arm but unfortunately for me, she became stronger than me.

''I asked your father when was your mother's anniversary death and then ... chance not the fate make me found you in the florist. It's strange, I see you the same way of our first meeting, it wasn't me who would tear the petals of a flower, but it was you who would crush this poor little Daisy. Then you fled before I could talk to you, so I had no choice but follow you.'' Alyssa's daughter argued. Yes it was strange; I thought exactly the same thing when I saw her.

''Shizuru please let me go.'' I asked nicely.

''Why? I do nothing wrong, I simply show you that I'm glad to see you.''

'' ... I know, I noticed that you were happy to see me ... but I just want you to leave me, so please remove your arms.'' She didn't react, I had the feeling she was afraid that I leave again.

''I won't run away.''

'' ...''

''Shizuru please ... I promise ...'' I insisted.

I turned to the honey-haired girl who had finally released her grip on me; I watched her attentively, in a year she had really changed. Her beauty blossomed; she looked more like a woman now. She was beautiful, her eyes were much clearer and her hair looked like a wheatfield.

''Ara Natsuki seems to enjoy the view?'' My niece teased. Yeah a lot…No I mean…crap…

''Not at all!'' I lied when I was totally scarlet because she was perfectly right

''I see, I became ugly.''

''I never said you were ugly!'' How could she arrive at such conclusion?

''I see, I'm more than ugly.'' The woman with rubies said putting her hands on her face; she started to sniff, I totally freaked out because I was afraid she was crying by my fault.

''No, you are far from ugly; you embellish and blossomed with age. You've become a beautiful woman and I couldn't help but admire your beauty ... Shit! I actually said that out loud ...''

''Yes.'' She smiled.

''Uh ... Shit!'' I swore inwardly at my stupidity. Natsuki Kuga, you really are an idiot! Why did I always react stupidly? Is it easy to manipulate me? My niece whose cheeks blushed smiled at me, annoy me is one of her favorite hobbies, something that doesn't seem to have changed over time. And I was happy, I missed your joke more than you imagine. If somebody dare to tell that he or she is dead and I wasn't kidding!

''Ara I became beautiful? Before I wasn't?''

''No, you've always been beautiful.'' I answered honestly without realizing. Shup ut baka!

''I'm delightedly you appreciate the view Na~tsu~ki~'' I began to blush by the sensual way she said my name; I tried to regain quickly my senses.

''Well what do you want?'' I said with a hint of annoyance.

''I've already said.''

''Yes, you saw me, satisfied. Well you can go now, go join your boyfriend; he must wait.'' My niece laughed and I didn't like it.

''What!'' I barked irritably.

''You're really cute when you're jealous Na-tsu-ki.'' I became completely scarlet.

''Jealous of what?''

''Ara I wonder, it's strange because when you saw me earlier with Tate, you threw him one of your famous deadly glare, he instantly became white. '' My niece pointed, I felt I was going to explode.

''I've never done that!'' It's true I've never done that! I will remember. Maybe I really did and it wasn't intentional, it was the way I act generally with everyone. One thing is certain; he was a real wimp if he fears a simple glance.

''Yes, yes, of course I believe you, you're not jealous.'' The goddess of teasing said happily.

''That's enough now! Stop always make fun of me! And go see your boyfriend instead of me!'' I growled irritate.

''Natsuki why you're so angry? What I've done wrong that you want badly I go?'' The desperate woman with crimson asked, this question surprised me because it wasn't against her I was angry but about myself and the way I acted. She had done nothing wrong, it was me who had done terrible things to her and I continued again. She just wanted to talk to me because I'm her aunt, her family; I am really pathetic.

''No, you did nothing wrong, I'm sorry to react that way, please forgive me. It's just that I'm a little tired that's all.'' I added with a sigh, I felt so guilty by the disproportionate reaction I had.

''Is it really the truth?''

''Of course I'm sorry, I'm quite grumpy when I lack of sleep.'' I commented with a guilty pout.

''Yet you're so cute when you're grumpy.'' I became red; I tried hard to ignore what she just said.

''What are you doing here?'' I asked trying to change the subject of our conversation.

''I came to collect my mother and my grandmother's grave just like you. You father is also here.''

''I see.''

''But this isn't the only reason for my presence here; in fact I've been looking for you.'' She added, staring intensively at me.

''Why?''

''Ara, I gotta talk about something important and you absolutely have to know, it's about my future.'' She told me looking away from me; she began to close her eyes and inspire deeply. Why her future concerned me? I didn't understand this girl.

''What do I have to know?'' I asked puzzled by her reaction, and silence.

''I want you to know that I'm moving to the U.S. and getting married.''


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: the same mistake

* * *

''Ara, I gotta talk about something important and you absolutely have to know, it's about my future.'' She told me looking away from me; she began to close her eyes and inspire deeply. Why her future concerned me? I didn't understand this girl.

''What do I have to know?'' I asked puzzled by her reaction, and silence.

''I want you to know that I'm moving to the U.S.''

''It's awesome.'' I replied immediately.

"And getting married,'' the chestnut beauty finished sadly, my heart stopped beating. Shocked, a lump formed in my throat almost making me choking... why I had this weight in my stomach that made me nauseous? Maybe it was I ate this morning? Yes surely... She was going to marry? It was perfectly normal she married with the person she loved. But she was young….I bite my lower lip strongly just thinking about it and clenched strongly my fists because my hand trembled with nervousness but I tried to hide from my niece, who looked carefully my behavior but I knew very well how do hide my emotions through my coldness.

''Congratulations.'' I simply said not knowing what to add because I didn't know what Shizuru awaited by me saying this new, except the words I pronounced. I didn't understand why she wanted to tell me so badly this information. Especially we weren't anymore close. It was for this reason that she was looking for me around Fuuka? If she wanted to invite me to her wedding, she could send me invitation card, I will probably throw in the trash as quick as possible. I am not fan of this kind of event, it always lead to divorce or separation, and above all I would see my family pretending all is perfect and honestly I didn't want to see this pathetic show

''Do you really mean it? Are you happy about my wedding with Tate?''

''Tate?''

''The man you saw with me in the florist.''

''Of course I'm happy for you, why I wouldn't be?'' I whispered.

''I don't know, I simply want you to hear you approval ... in your mouth ... that's all ...'' her answer surprise me; I found strange her concern about my opinion. After all it was her life, not mine.

''If you're happy to marry the person you love, then it what matters most to me.'' It wasn't entirely true, I can't admit I hated the idea that she belonged to someone else, why it was hurting me? It didn't matter anymore, her private life didn't concern me I had no right and never had.

From the beginning I was right, I wasn't the person who will share her love life and now ... it was real ... it was a good thing she moved on us. I admitted I was glad she was happy because she truly deserved happiness. But I noticed the beauty of Kyoto watched the ground with melancholy, I could even see tears? I wondered why she looked so unfortunate; why? She would be delighted to marry the chicken-hearted. However she erased this pain face making her fake smile. Why she reacted this way? I couldn't decipher her ... and it bothered me.

''And you Natsuki, all this time ... did you ... found someone?'' she questioned with fear in her voice.

''No.'' You idiot! You should have said yes, yes! I should use my brain more or think long and hard before speaking. But why did I have to lie to her? It wasn't as if he was doing something that I'm single or not. I really need to stop to think much but yet it was strange, now she smiled at me with a genuine smile. I was totally lost. Or was I just stupid to understand nothing.

''Ara, Natsuki is honest but not with her own feelings. How unfortunate.''

''What do you mean? What are you talking about?'' I asked incredulously as always, I _really_ missed something.

The woman with eyed bloods came up to me and grabbed both my hands to her face, she began to smile at me warmly and I immediately blushed. Honestly ... I hated blushing! Due of having such a reaction, I was afraid that my skin color stay indefinitely red.

''You're always so cute Natsuki, no matter how much time passes, your redness missed me a lot.'' She said tenderly, kissing the tip of my nose.

''I'm not cute! And I am not red! This is due to sunburn! So stop saying that!'' I mumbled with a pout.

''Is it possible to get a sunburn in winter?''

''Yes it's possible more than you imagine and my skin is very sensitive!'' I retorted annoyed that I made her laugh melodiously.

''It's true, you're not cute but adorable my Natsuki,'' she said touching my flushed cheeks.

''...'' I began to growl through to her ''compliments'', which weren't for me. Then I realized that she had said I was hers? No; I certainly misread, I strongly hoped.

''Oi! Shizuru remove your hands from my face and stop touching me like this!'' I scolded, grabbing her wrists but she didn't seem to care and even seemed to enjoy my contact, I removed gradually my hand.

''No,'' she stated.

''No?'' I repeated with challenge.

''You heard me, I said no. Because if I do what you want, you'll look away or you'll try to avoid my gaze as you took the damn habit of doing it, and I want you to only look at me and to have your full attention because I have something very important to tell you.''

''I have no choice I guess.'' I noticed sighing totally defeated by her tenacity.

''No, you didn't.''

''Great!''

''You know, I'm not a Kuga anymore and now I'm major,'' she smiled happily handing a lock of hair behind my ear; next she stroked it with great gentleness that made me send shiver.

''Uh ... I already know you were major. But what do you mean you're no longer a Kuga?'' I admitted I did not expect her to tell me that, but mostly I didn't understand the meaning of her words. It seems I understand anything and it's frustrated me.

''I ask my mother's lawyer to remove my second name and now I'm Shizuru Fujino, I haven't kept the name of Kuga.''

''Why did you do that? This was your mother's name, somehow your legacy. I admitted it wasn't a proud to be called Kuga. I mean; it depends on which side of the family you are. But if you marry, then you can take the name of uh ... also, what is your boyfriend's name?'' I asked, trying to remember his name.

''Yuuchi Tate.''

''Yes that it, you will be the future Yuuchi Shizuru, so I don't understand why you changed your name.''

''Natsuki, I remove my second name for someone and it isn't for Tate.''

''For you?'' I replied sceptically. It was weird.

''No.''

''Okay, I'm all at sea ... please given me some explanation. For which reason you have changed your name?''

The chestnut approached me and started to kiss me gently on my lips. I unexpected her gesture; she finished her tender kiss, and she looked at me with love.

''I did this for you my precious Natsuki.'' She answered.

''F-for me?'' I stuttered incredulous

''Yes.''

'' ...'' Panicked, I removed her hands from my face. I wasn't dreaming. She just kissed me and acted as if nothing had happened. Okay if someone understood what happened a moment ago, I'd like him or her to explain because I'm totally lost. I will take full stock of the situation, Alyssa's daughter wanted to see me to tell me something important, she's moving to the U.S and she will marry Taipei, Toru no, maybe it was Tade ? Yeah, it seemed I've already forgotten his name to the other discolored porcupine, but who cared? Not me. Then Shizuru told me she was no longer a Kuga because of ... me? And then she kissed me, it was sad to say it but I think my niece became crazy.

''Ara, you shouldn't leave your mouth wide open, you could swallow flies.'' The ebony-haired woman laughed while I was speechless, not understanding what happened. I thought mentally to breathe: first inspire and next exhale, inhale, exhale. Damn it! Breathing is harder than I thought.

''Do you need some mouth-to-mouth resurrection so you could breathe again? It will be a great pleasure for me.'' The crimson goddess joked, she gave me a wink. I regained my consciousness when I saw her licking sensually her lips in apprehension; I couldn't help staring those two.

''NO! Why did you do that!'' I scolded irritated by what happened because I left her kissing me again.

''My teasing?''

''Yes! NO! I mean your kiss!''

''Mou, you don't like it? '' She said, she put on an adorable hangdog expression.

''This isn't the problem!'' I barked annoyed, why was she always frivolous when things getting serious? It was boring and I hated when she do that.

''So you like it?'' I blushed furiously, and I put my hands on my face completely embarrassed by my involuntary redness, I absolutely had to do something about it!

''It seems that wasn't necessary to ask, I already have your answer.'' My niece laughed melodiously.

''Shizuru! Enough now, stop making fun of me because I started getting tired of your childish behavior, if you continue, I prefer to go now!'' I scolded exasperated; I was going to leave but my niece stayed in my way, preventing me from fled.

''Shizuru! Get away, you're in my way! I have not time to lose with your pranks!''

''No, don't go, I'm begging you. I'll be serious, I'm promise. It's been over a year I expected this moment, so please listen to me.''

'' What do you mean by more than one year? What are you talking about?'' I asked puzzled.

''Do you remember the time I asked you in the law firm if you loved me, and you said no.''

''... I guess,'' I replied uncomfortable with these painful memories we shared.

''Do you still love me?'' Wait ... What? ... How? ... WHAT! Wait a minute! Did I have missed an episode? She told me that I had rejected and she asked me if I still love her today. I was totally lost, it confirmed what I thought from the beginning, my niece went nuts. Or maybe it was me?

''What?'' I replied incredulously.

''Natsuki, do you really think I believed you when you told me that you had no feelings for me and you could never love me?'' The daughter of my half-sister said crossing her arms. Of course, it was obvious I was thinking it.

''You said these words but you lied and I saw it in your eyes and your behavior, you remember when you told me I smiled a certain way to hide my pain.''

''Yes…''

''You avoid your gaze when you lie and you have also other tic but I won't show because you're not going to use it.'' What! This is not true! I didn't even know! I'm so messed up!

''Don't continue, you hardly know me, you've just seen me once.'' I argued.

''Really? Then look straight in my eyes and tell me you don't love me, I will leave you alone and I will accept to marry Yuuichi and go with him to the United States.'' Go Natsuki! Tell her that you didn't like her, go ahead; it's only three miserable and pathetic little words. There was more difficult to say. As: Six sick slick slim sycamore saplings. Easy! Now the other sentence.

''I don't…love you...'' I pounced uncomfortable looking away toward the ground! It wasn't great; honestly, I didn't believe it myself, then what about my niece?

''I love you too my Natsuki.'' Fujino replied with a warm smile.

I became totally scarlet and my heart skipped a beat when I heard these words, anxious I left my niece because she advanced towards me like a predator would pounce on its prey. And unfortunately it seems I was the victim, I couldn't stay, I had to leave or I'll never have the courage. But why I had to flee? I didn't understand… it was the second time I reacted this way when she was with me.

''Natsuki Kuga, would you marry me?'' She just proposed me in marriage? Grabbing my hands in hers, I hardly swallow my saliva, which made me cough uncontrollably. Tears were in my eyes because of this hard cough that I couldn't stop. Concerned, my niece gently patted my back, but I continued to cough. I probably not heard correctly.

''You probably mean, you want me to go with you as a bridesmaid at the altar when you get married?'' I rectified arching one of my eyebrows.

''No, I want you as my future wife stay with me front of the priest.'' Since when I didn't understand this conversation. We spoke the same language, right? Maybe it was her accent?

''And your fiancé, you don't have to marry him ''

''I'm not in love with him and he's gay.''

''Gay? He's gay? You mean homosexual or he likes boys.'' I said utterly shocked.

''Yes, it's exactly the definition, bravo!''

''It's not funny.'' I groaned.

''Kannin na but it was too tempting. I know his boyfriend, his name is Kanzaki Reito, he is very charming, he's also one of my closest friends, they are really cute together.''

''He- He- He... likes boys? And you know it?'' I stuttered.

''Of course.''

''Why are you gonna marry him?'' I asked mystified by her unfazed reaction. There's no denying this girl is strange, she knew her husband is gay and in addition she knew his boyfriend, and it doesn't matter to her. She accepted? I hope they weren't a threesome? Oh my god! They didn't use her for their game or to have a baby. I didn't want to think about it! She wanted to kill me, telling me all these information. I wasn't sure I can't take it anymore.

''It's an arranged marriage by your grandmother; Tate is the son of a wealthy business person in the pharmaceutical industry.'' This old witch could even sell her own mother to earn money. I groaned inwardly.

''Do you love him or have some feelings for him?'' I inquired shyly.

''No.''

''Why did you accept this crap if you knew your fiancé liked boys, and you don't like him?''

''I haven't for the moment accepted the engagement ... I only know just a few days, I wanted to confirm something before taking such a decision which would radically change my life. Something I hoped all these long months which seemed endless, and now I'm sure.'' She said smiling at me tenderly and I swallowed difficulty.

''What are you sure?'' I asked hesitantly because I was afraid of her answer.

''Ara, my feelings I had and I always have for you. And your feelings, I have no doubt now, you love me as much as I love you.''

''No, you're wrong.'' I answered, maybe a bit quickly; Fujino noticed it and sulked with a pout.

''Why you can't admit your own feelings Natsuki? I had several signs that showed me you feel more than love between an aunt and her niece to me because that's exactly what I feel for you.''

''Don't continue with your nonsense, I'm fed up.'' I replied uncomfortable.

''If you do not love me, push me back.''

She approached me and I took slowly a few steps back, too slowly because she was close enough to me, she looked at me with such love that disturbed me completely, my heart was beating so fast I thought it was going to explode. She put her hands on the back of my neck and came closer from my lips. I could feel her warm breath gradually approaching my lips, which began to tense up.

''Shizuru... we can't ...'' I breathed painfully because she was so close, I tightened my lips between them and I closed my eyes to regain my composure.

''Ara why, because I'm a girl? Or I am your niece? Perhaps I'm 18? But I wait my majority to see you again.'' She answered painfully. Her body pressed mine, I could feel her heart beating rapidly, and her fingers stroked my neck.

''We always have six years apart, I'm 24 years old and you've 18, even if you aren't officially named Kuga, you stay one. And you will ruin your life by staying with me and dreaming a love that I could never give you.''

''You will never ruin my life, because I will be happy by your side, and you don't look your age... You seem younger. And your age never disturbed me; it's only you. I am a girl yes, perhaps you prefer someone more mature? '' I never thought about that.

''No! It has been a year since we... and I thought you have forgotten me already...'' As I should have done with you ...

''As you should have done with me?'' She repeated staring in my emeralds. Oh no! She already knew when I was lying now she could read my thoughts? I was in big trouble

''Natsuki doesn't swear.'' Shit! Now a teenager lectured me?

''Natsuki!''

''I didn't do anything! Also, I don't know what you're talking about.''

''Always deny your feelings Natsuki ... Like you said before, I experienced love, I went out with boys and girls as you have suggested, but I've never been able to love or give them what they wanted because I couldn't forget you. I fell like I cheating in you, it was weird because we weren't together, it my feelings I deceived. You were the only one who continually haunted my thoughts for the last few months, it was torturous to me, I can't stay away from you.''

''It's been a year and during that time you should have forgotten me, and live your own life and don't think about that impossible, and you already know why. I'm not going to repeat because I begin to get tired.''

''But it has no importance for me even now. Your age, whether you're a girl, my aunt or your past. I want you Natsuki Kuga and this from the beginning and I'll never change my mind, no matter your excuses you invoke.''

She approached my lips again, closing her eyes, my breathing became jerky and my heart began to accelerate, I wanted so badly to kiss her but my reason didn't want and I pushed her away before she could reach my lips, I can't thing like my niece. It was wrong that kind of relationship even she says otherwise. She looked at me with great sadness, I wanted to hug her and comfort her, but I can't' have this kind of gesture towards her.

''Natsuki ... why do you always reject me? I know you feel something for me. And you ruin everything with your hesitations. I know you love me and you could be both happy, but you're afraid to have happiness in your life ... it's sad, you'll end your life alone.''

'' ...'' I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing and I avoided her intensive gaze.

''Natsuki is what you truly want? Never see me in your life? That I disappear? Because if it what you really want then I'll never bother with my feelings and I will agree to marry Yuuchi. It doesn't matter to you that I am with someone else other than you?'' She questioned grabbing my hands and putting on her cheek and she began to kiss them, she looked at me waiting a response from me.

'' ...'' I didn't answer because I didn't know what I wanted myself, I forced myself to forget her but I couldn't do it, is it love? I didn't know what to do; I was lost and totally scared to open myself.

''I think I understand your silence Natsuki, I won't bother you anymore. And you don't have to come to my wedding because I know you won't come no matter what.''

I saw the same smile in the law firm that disturbed me; she kissed me on the cheek, and added:

''Farewell Natsuki.''

* * *

N/A: Next chapter will be the last one. I also have an alternative ending with Shizuru weeding, but I too lazy to translate^^'. Thanks for your review and following me, I love you all.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11 what I really... want...

* * *

''Farewell Natsuki.'' The chestnut woman went while I stayed silent and not moving.

She left me again, the situation was similar to a year ago, I let her go without saying a word but now why did I do that? She confessed that she still loved me as much as the first day we meet despite all months has passed. One year, it was 12 months, 365 days, 52 weeks, 8765 hours ... I had to stop with all these numbers.

And all this time, she only thought of me. Our respective ages, our relationship, and whether you are both the same-sex didn't matter to her. For me, she dropped her mother's name. She told me many times that she loved me and I finally realized her feelings were real. Was I too late?

A lonely tear rolled down my cheek, my vision disturbed by the saltwater making me blink and irritated my eyes. I quickly wiped the mark of weakness with my hand. I looked at the floor and my endless tears won't stop pouring. I collapsed on my knees and put my head against the cold and rough ground.

''Damn!'' I shouted striking violently my fists against the ground.

Why I was crying? Why I reacted this way? I didn't understand these feelings. I never felt this pain before, except the day I lost my mother and my sister. Why I was sad and unhappy? No, I was desperate.

Why? I didn't know what happened to me; I tightened my chest that made me horribly suffer martyrdom. It was like a stabbing pain my heart and it was browsing all my soul. I would lose again someone I loved and I let her go without any reaction.

I was thinking of love? Yes.

I loved her? I love my niece? I... I think I love her but I was afraid of these feelings because I had never felt until now. All my life, I only knew the lust and disgust. And Shizuru suddenly entered in my miserable existence, she brought me something that I never thought I will have ... love and light.

Did I finally deserve to have some happiness in my life, especially with her? I didn't know myself ... it was so complicated. My life simply was. What I have done to deserve all this drama?

I always denied it but I knew from the beginning I felt this kind of loving feeling for Shizuru, when I met her for the first at the florist. She attracted me, she intrigued me, I was under her spell. It was a love at first sight like her. She was so beautiful; her eyes colored wine disturbed me and intoxicated my senses, but I did everything to hide it because it was something I considered impossible. I had refrained myself from it. Nevertheless I easily succumbed.

But when I learned she was my niece and my family, I immediately rejected the idea to love her that way. I couldn't be completely honest with her or myself. Even now, I wonder how could love in that way a member of my family. It wasn't normal ... I wasn't normal? It was disgusting and unhealthy. I knew it, but ... what should I do? To be again reasonable and forget her, yet I had never succeeded until today and it looked like the same for her.

If she got married then she would have a family and children, something I could never bring her in her life and she deserved the best and more importantly better than me. But the problem was ... did I really want? Before maybe, but now it wasn't the case.

This Yuuchi will never love as much as I do, and I was perfectly aware ... maybe it was with him she would ruin her life? I knew what I wanted and... It was ...her…

I saw her less and less. She gradually disappeared from my vision and my life, and I didn't want that happen again, I didn't want it! **NEVER!**

I couldn't help from getting up and running after my niece. I didn't want to lose her stupidly as one year ago. This time I would react instead of running away as I had always done.

''Shizuru!'' I shouted restlessly trying to reach her through my voice, but she didn't pay any slightest attention and she continued walking toward the taxi and entered inside. I accelerated my steps before the driver started his vehicle. I banged my fist on the window but the door stayed close.

''What do you still want me!'' Fujino yelled enraged lowering her window while I was facing her obvious anger.

''Shizuru, I have to speak with you.''

''Why? I thought we had already said everything earlier.'' Alyssa's daughter voice was cold and filled with hatred. I wasn't paying attention. I knew she was angry against me and I deserved it.

''No, I ... didn't say anything. Please look at me, I must confess my feelings, it's important.''

''Why do you always do that Natsuki! You liked torturing me and making me believe false hope or things which certainly never happened as you have already pointed out! You don't think I suffer enough for your uncertainties. I'm fed up now! I'm not going to run after you all my life! I lost a year and for nothing!'' She roared furiously.

''I ...''

''What do you want? Turning the knife in the wound? Making fun of me or my feelings which are childish or immature in your eyes! Or do you want I say I love you while it doesn't affect you one way or the other!'' The Kyoto woman beauty barked with a trembling voice. It wasn't true, your feelings were so precious to me ... I only had thought about you and not what I felt; I put aside everything for your happiness. I was aware I fucked up ... it was always true with me ... I was a selfish woman. We weren't together and I'd only make you suffer ... I had to let you go this time...

* * *

The car started and I remained standing like an idiot, I saw Alyssa's daughter turning in my direction. She looked dejected and ruby reflected an expectation, did she expected that I run after her? I will show her what I wanted to say was important. I had to prove I was sincere with her; she deserved it after what I have done to her.

I ran after the taxi. It quickly went away, but it didn't stop me. I continued my track race but it was in my biggest disadvantage. I manage to run a little longer, I was breathless and sweating. I felt miserably on the ground, but I got up without losing a moment. I was hot, and perspiring, I didn't know if I can hold longer. I never ran so much in my life. But I couldn't even join the taxi which wasn't anymore there.

It was impossible; I wasn't a high-level sportswomen, or a superman. I didn't know where she went. If she went back home, I can't catch her up. I had to give up. Yes it was better, though my legs didn't obey me. They continued to move with a painfully stubbornness. The rain began to fall on me. I didn't know how long I was on the road. I couldn't hold anymore, I collapsed breathing with difficulty. I rolled on my back while the hostile weather emaciated furiously on me. I laughed hysterically covering my face with my arms, shameful to show my pain in daylight.

'' ... You're right since the beginning Shizuru ... I am a despicable person... I realized over time ... and I am sincerely sorry to made you suffer, I'm so sorry ... don't worry, I won't make you lose your precious time, you will never see again in your life ... I promise ... I will disappear and forever. It will be easier now to forget me. It wasn't a good choice for you.'' I declared hurt.

''No, I do not think so. I've done all my possible to forget you, but in vain. I'm probably crazy or stupid to repeat the same mistake but I will always hope…Even if it's destroyed me totally, I could never get away from you, and I'm always going back to you. I don't know if it was good decision, it's up to you to tell me if I was wrong.'' The chestnut goddess inquired while I removed my arm and I saw Fujino with a sad smile, wet by the rain.

''Shizuru it's you?''

''Yes...''

She was beautiful even though I could see her beautiful eyes reddened with tears and sorrow which didn't seem to stop running down her face. I couldn't stand seeing her in such pain, I awkwardly stood exhausted by my running and I held her tenderly in my arms. She put her head on my shoulder and cried. She hugged me strongly, and grabbed my shirt fearing that I can go away…again. I stroked her hair to calm her; I kissed her cold cheek and waited a bit before speaking.

''Shizuru ... I'm an idiot ... I know ... I was afraid of loving you but also to make you suffer because I had never felt this strong feeling to hold dear or care about someone. Before I couldn't accept your feelings because you were fragile, vulnerable and it was abusing you and I could never do that, because I really care about you. But the main problem is that you're my niece and you always will be and it's not normal this kind of love you have for me or I have to you ...'' I confessed with sad eyes.

''I know what you feel; I have the same doubts as yours Natsuki. I wonder if I have a problem because I fell in love with my mother's sister ... just saying aloud is strange, and abnormal. Yet I have done everything to bury those immoral feelings but in vain, you have always been omnipresent in my heart and nobody was able to fill this presence…''

''Shizuru you're younger than me and I'm the adult, it's my duty to act in a thoughtful way, and you're right indicating me that I am a kid, I realize now.''

''I'm not a child anymore Natsuki…and you aren't one ... I said these words because I was angry, hurt ... because everything you told me a year ago was simply the truth and I didn't want to face you are ... my aunt, my family. Then I threw away all my frustration in you because I hated our situation, not being able to love you freely, and hearing you saying in your mouth made things more real. ''

''...''

''...''

''Shizuru, I-I can't give you the love you deserve, because I suffered a lot in the past, and I don't know if one day I could recover. I want the best for you. That you're happy, that you smile and laugh. I want you live your life freely and you enjoyed it. I didn't believe in anybody or I was fearing of being hurt or abandoned again because it's too painful. I thought if you hated me or I pushing you away abruptly, you would take yourself the decision to get away from me. I thought that if you were with me, you did it because you lost your parents and you needed affection and it wasn't a good thing for you, then I rejected you so you can actually see what you really wanted. I thought it wasn't me you needed in your life and even now I still thinking it.'' I breathed in her ear, she gently touched my back.

''Ara but I've told you many times you're the only one I want and even now I haven't changed my mind, never.'' Fujino argued removing from my hug; she smiled tenderly at me and stroked my cheek wiping a tear or maybe it was the rain.

''I don't know ... I'm totally lost ... I wouldn't have chase you or even tell you all these silly things while I'm in such an emotional state. Forget it please ... no forget me, it's the best thing for you. You deserve better than all this pitiful melodrama I bring you continually.'' I was going to go but the beauty with rubies grabbed my arm and forced me to stay.

''Oh no! Don't dare to escape, it's too late now; especially after what you told me and I dream to hear from you! And don't tell me it's for my good! Don't you see it's hurting me!'' My niece yelled enraged, she grabbed me by the collar of my shirt.

''It's not too late ... you can always change your mind and find someone else ... than me ... and ...Tate.''

''No! I don't want anybody else but you! Why don't you understand! YOU'RE THE ONLY I WANT! I love you so much Natsuki! I'm totally crazy in love of you!''

''I ... you deserve better than me, I'm sure.'' I replied sadly with a heavy and bruise heart.

''Why you didn't stop to repeating the same speech? And you depreciate yourself?''

''Because everything I say is the truth.''

''Your truth! It isn't the same thing and you try to convince yourself that was the best thing for both of us but it isn't! You don't see how much we both suffer?''

''...''

''Natsuki if I was with someone else, what would you do?''

''If you're happy it's what matters the most to me whatever the person with whom you are.'' I lied biting the inside of my cheek; I felt the blood flowing mix up with my saliva.

''Always the same speech which sounds so wrong! I don't want to hear your reason but your heart!'' She roared angrily.

''What do you feel if I was with somebody else Natsuki? For example Tate, or another boy or girl? What would have been your feelings? Imagine I kiss this person, we make love together, I hold in my arms, I touch him or her intimately. What will you feel? Don't tell me what you want for me! It doesn't interest me! Tell me the truth for once and don't hide anymore your feelings!'' The Kyoto beauty said pointing her finger on my chest. I breathed with difficulty looking at the sky. I imagined Shizuru with another person, as she had expressly asked and I was going to lose my mind because of the anger, jealousy, and bitterness.

''I'd be miserable ... desperate ... sad ...'' I confessed ill-at-ease avoiding her gaze.

''Why? Tell me the reason... please my Natsuki ... Why would you feel that way? '' Alyssa's daughter's begged holding her breath and she bit her lower lip.

''...''

''Natsuki why would you be unhappy! Answer me, I'm begging you ...'' Fujino repeated nervously, she grabbed my shoulders and shook me; she forced me to look straight into her eyes. I finally dared to look at her and I grabbed her face with my hand.

''Because ... I-I-I,'' I hesitated not able to finish clearly my sentence, I didn't want to admit the truth because I was too afraid to face it.

''Because what Natsuki! Say it dammit!'' Shizuru growled putting her trembling hand on my cheek.

''...'' Crap! Why I can't say these words ... she waits so desperately to hear it... maybe because I had never told them to anyone before ... and this will be the first time I really feel that feeling for someone ...

''Natsuki please ... don't leave me in like this, it's killing me slowly...''

'' ... I ... I ... I've ... LL-lo…ve…you.'' I stuttered nervously. It was horrible and embarrassing and**HORRIBLE!** I can't do that, I am not anymore a teenager who's trying to confess her love to the boy she likes... well I mean the girl she loves. Also there was a beautiful rainbow; now all cliché represented for a romantic confession we could see in some movies. It was so cliché that made me sick just to think it. Fujino stayed calm and…cried? Oh my gosh! She put her hands to hide her face and she convulsed and hiccupped furiously. I was totally freaked out by her reaction. She caught a cold? Or she didn't feel right? Or it was my fault?

''Shizuru, please don't cry, I don't won't see you sad because of me. I shouldn't have said those words. I'm sorry. Please forget.'' I told her removing her hands from her face, which consumed by tears and suffering I wiped the tears kissing it, her eyes closed enjoying all my kisses. But I could feel a painful pinch in my size.

''Don't say that! I desperately wanted you tell me your feelings for me. And these aren't tears of sadness but joy because I'm so happy, you have no idea. I waited that moment you tell me these words, I only fear it was an illusion ... that my desires blinded me; I'm terrified I will wake up from this wonderful dream. Yes I'm scared to take my desires for granted and I lose again like every night during one year I dream of you. And I'm afraid a few minutes later I stay alone in my bed ... you aren't with me. You disappear and I can never catch you and hold you ... I will not bear ... it is also why I can't contain my tears, I love you.'' I grabbed with two of my fingers my niece's chin, forcing her to watch me.

''Shizuru Fujino I love you.'' I declared honestly with a smile, I became a bit scarlet by my sincere declaration of love. This didn't escape the honey-haired goddess, who began to smile, she jumped into my arms making me lose my balance and we both fall in a puddle of water that splashed us even more. I winced and I opened my eyes and saw that Shizuru stood up, putting her hands resting next to me, she remained close to my face. Her gaze fixed mine and we blushed at the same time. Then we couldn't stop laughing about the grotesque situation that we were.

''Now, I know it's real.'' She smiled wonderfully touching my lips ''It take you time to tell me what you feel, I almost wait until my deathbed.''

''I'm sorry.'' I apologized embarrassed.

''It isn't enough to apologize, I want more.'' Fujino pouted, which made me smile.

I grabbed her wrist, which surprised her, and I brought back to me to prove my real love for her. I captured her lips for a long and burning kiss. I kissed her as I had always wanted to do, a passionate loving kiss reflecting all my hidden emotions. It became more intense and wild; our tongues fondled, we both seeking domination to the other. A few seconds later, out of breath, we separated for our need of air, our foreheads remained bonded to the other one and we smiled stupidly. I release my sweetheart, who was blushing profusely and seemed be over the moon.

''Shi-zu-ru?'' I called softly putting her long hair behind her ear.

''Ara~'' she answered staring into space, '' Natsuki kisses divinely I almost lose my mind, _what it would__be in bed? Now I'll never let you escape, even if I have to attach you to me, perhaps I should use handcuffs fufu._'' My niece whispered, a perverse smile appeared on the lips, which frightened me.

''What were you thinking a moment ago Shizuru?'' I stuttered panic.

''Ara you really want to know my Na~tsu~ki~'' She smiled in a lecherous way.

''Uh ... no it's fine, forget what I said ...'' I looked at her with tenderness then she started to blush, for once it wasn't me who had this reaction. She was so adorable; I understood better her want to tease me.

''Natsuki has improved over the last time, even though we can't really compare with that kind of kiss I gave you before it was only on the lips.''

''Why? Because it's more mature? Or it's done for a mutual love?''

''Maybe both but tell me one thing.''

''What?''

''I hope that you don't train yourself with other girls or boys. You aren't a player?'' Shizuru threatened looking suspiciously at me; even my murderous glare wasn't as scary as her.

''NO, of course not!'' I grew pale about her implication; this girl is scary when she was jealous and angry. I thought she was going to murder me. One thing that I had to keep in future, never made her angry.

''You denied too quickly, have I to worry?'' The jealous woman scolded with a frowning.

''No! I've been single during a loooong time. I could ask you the same question, I'm sure you had a lot of success with boys and girls, you probably are very popular in your school, and we had to queue up to go out with you.''

''Ara I can't deny I was pretty popular even though I don't understand myself the reason. I was seito kaichou of my school and I had fan clubs but even if I flirted a little, that was never seriously. I never kiss someone else as we have just done, except on the cheek but I can't go further with them, I couldn't ... no, I didn't want to.'' She had a fan club? And she was the seito kaichou of her school? I wasn't surprised; I would like to meet her when I was a student and younger. I didn't know if we could be friends, nobody will know.

''Really? Then I'm your first and only kiss?''

''Maybe.''

''You mean when we were on the cliff, it was your first kiss? But you told me you went out with boys.'' I asked amaze and glad.

''I went out with boys, yes, but there was never more. Or I stop because I wasn't ready.''

''So I'm your only love?'' I smiled warmly kissing the tip of her nose.

My chestnut beauty blushed instantly and she turned her head away from me.

''You already know.'' She mumbled to my enjoyment.

I stood up, when she gave me her hand to help me up and I brought my niece against me.

''Natsuki, I would like to talk about what you asked me a year ago, when we were in law firm.''

I scratched my neck seeking what she was talking about but I had no slightest idea and she noticed.

''Mou Natsuki, how can you be forgetful, it's our future we are speak ...Ikezu…''

''I'm sorry but I can't remember it.'' I replied with a pout.

''You're too cute my Natsuki!''

''Stop with that,'' I blushed embarrassed.

''But it's true…what we talked about? It's your fault Natsuki you always made me lose my mind ... oh yes ... you suggested I can live with you, it's always possible?'' she asked me with a sparkle of hope in her eyes. I remained speechless; I didn't expect such a request.

''Yes, sure.'' I stuttered looking our intertwined fingers.

''I would want we could finally live together as a real couple.''

''Well ...Of course.''

My niece brought my hands to her lips and kiss them, then she told me she loved me and I kissed on her forehead, she gave me a quick kiss on my lips and I began to smile.

''Natsuki about my proposal of marriage? You didn't answer me. Will you become my wife?'' She added making puppy eyes, I turned my head because I had some difficulty to breathe, and she proclaimed I'm cute, but she was the one who really was.

'' ... You're very fast, we are couple just a few minutes ago.''

''But I've waited over a long year! _One year of abstinence and it was very long you can't know how frustrated I am but I will catch up all this time, be sure to Natsuki that you must beg me to leave you alone, of course I would never, because you belong to me your soul and…body._ And it's been 18 years since I waited you in my life.'' She said sulkily, her words made me blush intensely, I never thought she would say something so romantic while I was expecting something more, you know a little teaser, though, I had the feelings she had thought of something, it would be better not to know.

''Yes, but we skip too many steps, we even go out together or do anything else that would make a normal couple. And I didn't say I wasn't thinking about marriage with you, we'll see when the time comes. It's too early now.'' I floundered embarrassed by what I said, because I never imagined that one day I will talk about marriage, but it was only with her that I thought this kind of thing.

''So wants to be my girlfriend to make naughty and perverse things with me? Our relationship is only sexual for you?'' WHAT! Here was what I expected from her! Tease me when things get serious.

''No! And we haven't made sex!'' I added scarlet realizing what I had said.

''I see, you only think about it from the beginning. My girlfriend is a real sex maniac. I will be more careful.''

''No, it's not true! I'm not a sex maniac! That would be you!'' I said uncomfortable.

''So you don't want to do this kind of thing with… me?'' She said putting her hands on her face.

''Of course I want ... I mean no ... no I'd love if it's with you ...'' I stuttered red with embarrassment, how dare she make me say this kind of thing? She perverted me and yet I was the adult here.

''Ara I love to live with you but especially enjoy ~ these ~ Na-tsu-ki.'' Fujino gave me a noisy slap to my butt and I jumped surprised by her unexpected gesture, I put my hands on my butt and I saw a carnivorous smile which made me shiver along the spine.

''Now they belongs to me.'' The beauty noticed pointing my posterior.

''I'm sorry to disappoint you but they are mine.''

''Perhaps, but now they belongs to me too, just like the rest. You belong to me completely Natsuki.'' I think I will have a hard time. I thought smiling when my girlfriend took me by the waist and rested her head against my shoulder.

''Natsuki?''

''Yes?''

''I love you.'' I blushed and smiled.

''I love you too Shizuru.''

''We have to go home, or we will be sick.'' I suggested.

''I'm looking forward to going to our home my Natsuki.''

**FIN**

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**N/A:**I never imagined I finished this translation. I know I haven't been replying to your reviews in previous chapter, but I will do this time. And It wasn't a bad-ending for those who worried. Also for those who said the story was fast, I don't think so. And the other alternative end was Shizuru's wedding. And adding more chapter wasn't possible even if I wrote a sequel Suffer of heart (Les souffrances du coeur in French) but it stayed in hiatus. Thanks again for reading my FF.


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